I fear that many people in this day and age take dating and relationships for granted, make it something of leisure and meaningless activity. In reality, at least for me, I just cannot simply date someone to date them. It is not meaningless and it is not for leisure. I have dated two guys officially and had a few other guys, in short, that I had been talking to but ended up not dating. Looking back, I learned so much from my previous dating experiences, however, to me dating is so much more than what we have made it to be. I simply want to be with my husband. I do not want any more dates with guys that are, bluntly put, not my husband. I know it is “catch 22” …I want to be with my husband but I do not want to date. I do not want to date but I want to end up with my husband. Yes, I am quite aware of this not making that much sense. I am just so sick of this concept that we have to be discontent with singlehood and that we have to be in pursuit of relationships instead of pursuit of a lifetime of memories with one person. I honestly do not want to add to the [brief] roster of guys I have dated before my husband.
My whole reasoning for bringing up this topic is because, frankly, it has been coming up all week. I want to be pursued. I want to date…to marriage. What 20-something does not want to have the dating experience? Honestly, I know it would be fun. I am not discrediting that, yet I cannot convince myself to just date. For me to date a guy now, after the past experiences I have had, I want to know that our futures can actually work together. We have similar or the same passions and desires for the things of God. We have an agreement on the important things of scripture and faith. And more than anything, we feel this is what God has for us. For me, that means sacrificing the dates that I may be offered. It means that I have to be careful of my interactions with guys for sake of knowing that one day it will all be worth it.
I want so much more than a date. I want more than a faded memory of an okay date. I want more. So in turn, I am patiently waiting on God’s direction and where he leads me. Again, I know that probably sounds crazy to take dating off the market yet still hope to meet and date the man I will marry. That is faith. It is a hope that there is something better than mediocre, mundane, meaningless dates that will probably hurt me in the end, knowing it will not work out. It is faith in God, trusting that he will direct my steps and my heart to something that will be more than a moment in my memory but a lifetime of creating new ones.