its been so wierd lately. i feel like i am watching my life pass me by from another place. i feel that its not me. distant or something. i am not really sure. but what i am sure of is that life is no longer the same that it has been. everything is rapidly becoming different and its quite honestly scary. there is so much that i want to happen before i leave for school and i have such high doubts that any of it will happen. knowing i want it to happen but also knowing its just a hopeless dream i am living. i also realize that so much else is occuring. i am leaving behind my parents and all of my best friends who i care so much about. its becoming so lonely and nerveracking. confusing and wierd. i dont know i guess its just something i have to live with….

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