hum.  yup this is how i feel.  when did the church feel it was okay to act like sodom and gomorrah? when did the church become anorexic? when did christians think being a christian is just work? no if you take the LABEL AS A CHRISTIAN you better as heck LIVE THE FREAKIN LIFE!!! 

when was it okay for people to stop caring about others?  they don’t even realize how much other christians hurt because they are too caught up in themselves.  so many people are SILENTLY CRYING OUT for someone to help….but no the church is lazy.  the church lacks compassion and care.  when was the last time other people set up and tore down the chairs at church? when was the last time other people did the ministries that seem challenging and possibly scary? when was the last time someone reached out to another person, not because of who that person is but who that person NEEDS? 

when was the last time the NICE GIRL GOT THE GREAT GUY??  yeah chilvary is dead.  why do guys think it is so great to tell a girl that they like them, then play them?  yeah girls definitely DON’T have feelings….yeah right.  freakin hormonal jerks that play girls to get what they want then they realize they don’t want to get involved.  freakin pansies…stand up and be men!! take a risk for someone who is worth fighting for and have something GREAT.  why is is that they have to settle? comfortable with keeping a girl as a possible back up rather than having her as his prize…why have i suddenly become invisible?  people just don’t see me anymore.  why?  am i not worth going for? or am i intimidating?  yup…story of my life. 

why is it that so often they are blind and can’t see what is out there?  there is such much more than what people feel they can grasp!!!  as this point i don’t really know what to say.  all i know is college is becoming my great escape.  do i need a reason to return home?  what’s left for me?  anything at all? 


12 days….my bittersweet scapegoat.



One thought on “

  1. Don’t think that college will be the ends to all the means. The same problems could possibly be found at Southeastern. It is a shame but churches (esp American churches) are full of people who have lost the vision of what a church should be like and do. Yet that should not discourage us, make us angry, or cause us to be bitter at what they have done and what individuals have done to us. And Mandy, God sees you everyday and sees how valuable you are and cherishes you even at this very moment. The fact that the “supposed” good guy gets the random girl is known only to God, and obviously is a clear sign from God that you were not supposed to be with him. ISAIAH 55:8-9

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