Missing.

Inside. Deep within…my heart beats. Alive. But something is missing, so life slowly fades. I face this struggle. I breathe and I have a pulse. But to feel fully and entirely alive, I have yet to know. I ache for the void to be filled by something still unknown. To become the woman I am trying to so hard to be. To live with purpose. To pursue my dreams letting nothing hinder me. All this to know that it is Christ in me making me alive…truly alive. I want to live alive and not just live. That is my desire. I want to live beyond the mundane, beyond normalcy, beyond routine. I want more. I need more. Something is missing. But I don’t know what it is. I still feel empty. I still feel that void far within my core. I guess I just need to figure out what it is that beckons me deeper. Whatever it is that makes my heart beat. Whatever it is that urges me to move forward. Whatever it is that creates the adrenaline in me. Whatever makes me feel truly alive. I want to get to the end of my life, one day, and know that I lived my life purposefully, intentionally, and actively. I want to have lived regretting nothing. It doesn’t matter how long it takes…I will find what is missing and live fully alive.

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