Humbled.

While still fresh in my mind, I feel I must share something with you, whoever you are, reading this blog. God has lately been showing me something that, although I have known for a while, a reminder is always key especially when one is not actually living out that which they already know. ITS NOT ABOUT ME. It never has been. Yet my own pride gets in the way of a lot of things that God is wanting to do in my life. Why do I feel the need to take the credit for either my success or even failures when ultimately all of my focus needs to be on God? I was scheduled to preach in church today. I understand that I am not a great preacher, but I am a decent public speaker. I love talking. That can be both a blessing and a curse- I have experienced it both ways. However, I knew this Sunday was different. God has placed a message on my heart more than a month ago and I could not remove it from my mind. I knew it was no longer a message for me personally, but for others as well. Leading up to today, I felt such stress, frustration even, paired with doubts and insecurity. I knew this message was for others yet I was still getting in the way.

Finally something clicked- a reminder of God’s call on my life for this Sunday [and pretty much my entire life]. It is not about me, so how dare I even have the right to be stressed or doubting when God will give me the words to speak. If I am being faithful to God, walking in obedience to his commands, then I will see him work within me. I felt such a peace this morning as I reviewed my sermon once more. During the musical worship set, I just had a sense that God was already present and showing himself to be real and the best part was- I had nothing to do with it. When I went up to speak, midway in my message, I stopped looked at my notes and just spoke. Frankly, I do not even remember a lot of what I said. I just knew that the message I was speaking was not from my heart or mind but from God’s and he was using me a vessel for that message. With words that I cannot recall, passion that came from his heart, and a boldness that came from his strength, I spoke that message. Talk about humbling. God decided to use me, a simple 23 year old to speak about obedience to God to many who were older. As the words left my lips, conviction still wrestled in my heart. It was a good conviction. A conviction that God does not need me yet chooses to use me.

So with this, I encourage you. God wants to use you despite the fact that he does not need you. Not for anything. But he wants to use you because it gives him glory when we honor him. When we are obedient to his call on our life, he will use us. This morning was just a facet of the calling on my life, but it rests as an example of God using someone unworthy, yet made worthy by grace. The same can be for you. It is never about us, but about God. His love, truth, purity, holiness, and grace. No matter what we do, it always need to be focused and centered on him. That will bring him glory. And it most certainly should humble us before an incredible God.

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