Lately, I have been struggling with the idea of dreaming. Not the imagination that occurs within the subconscious paired with memories that happens during slumber. Instead, I refer to dreaming awake- having hopes, desires, vision, passion. Ultimately it comes to me knowing that there are things I want (or have always wanted) yet I remain doing nothing of the sort. I am in my mid 20’s and at an age that I always thought my dreams would already be in motion. However, what I have discovered is that my life, thus far, is not what I expected. It is not that I am unhappy but I am discontented with the idea of giving up hope on my dreams and passions. I think that deep within me, my heart burns for certain things, and those things, I believe, are God-given. They are not by accident nor are they without purpose.
Recently I have had other ideas and thoughts on my life- somewhat different than I always imagined. My point, is that I think God uses the gifts and talents that he created in each of us for his glory. He does not change, but we do. We mature. We focus them. We choose to honor him with our lives (or not). We can dream dreams all we want but our dreams should include God. With that, I believe our dreams should not only include God, but be driven by him. To be honest, some of my dreams- the pinnacles of my [future] life- scare the heck out of me. They are terrifying, yet beautiful. I believe my God birthed these dreams and ideas inside of me, to challenge me to achieve them. He wants to be a part of them. So as my life is slowly moving forward, I cannot see my dreams coming to fruition, yet I know God is doing something.
I remember a moment when I was hiking Mount Masada in Israel. It is not that intense of a hike, distance that is, but it is very steep. My friends and I hiked Masada for the sunrise. It was exhausting, steep, and cold. Yet arriving to the top was worth the effort. It was worth watching the sunrise. I remember that moment: I sat down away from everyone, for just a brief moment, yet I was overwhelmed by God’s beauty. I was staring at the desert, the Dead Sea, and the sun. There was just something beautiful about seeing the rays of the sun spread over the barren desert. In reminiscing on that special moment, I know that right now, I am hiking that mountain. I am working my way toward the goal. The little steps in between check points on a hike matter just as much as anything else. Its about moving forward, step by step, even if it seems worthless or mundane. For me, I feel reminded to be obedient to God and see his love for me- his beauty. Maybe this will not make sense to you. I know my thoughts are kind of random. And I know for many who have hiked anywhere, places like Masada, may not seem things the way I did. Yet, I have to remain confident in the pursuit of something that is worth it. The little things in my life right now that I may think do not matter actually do matter.