I have been a rut. Stuck. And at times, wondering, “Who the heck am I becoming?” You become someone based of your everyday choices. Everything you say, everywhere you go, every behavior you take part in…everything. It all shapes you and molds you as a person.

I have been very reflective lately, and it has caused me to really look at myself and who I have become. In being honest, I do not like all of what I see. Upon noticing this, I realized I had to make drastic changes in my behavior, attitude, habits, and pretty much every major part of my life. Change was necessary to become who I really want to be. No more compromise, no more laziness, and definitely no more complacency. I want to live up to my potential, and be the person I know I am actually capable of being, even if I do not have the full picture. The same thing has happened with friends of mine, people I love and care about deeply. Friends who continue behaving in certain ways and yet wonder why life is not going well. Friends that cannot seem to understand why their relationship with God has disappeared or gone dry. Friends who wonder why about so many things.  Well let me tell you what I have been learning recently…

Decide the kind of person you want to be. Who are you capable of becoming? And go for it. I am not talking about the dream job or perfect family. No- I am referring to who you are now and will be as a person. Figure that out first. But then look at your life now. Are you behaviors hindering or helping you in being that person? Simply put, are you all talk about it yet have no desire to change who you are now to be who you really want to be?

Let me explain it in a more tangible way, something I decided I wanted to do to become more of who I want to be. I work out pretty regularly, but lately I have become a little out of shape due to being busy and then tired because of being so busy. I have compromised working out for the sake of rest, which in turn has not been the best decision because if I am not healthy, rest can only do so much. So I decided recently to increase my workouts again and push through the exhaustion; what do you know, I feel better than ever. On top of that, I started a fitness program called Insanity- it basically kicks you into shape. My point is simply this: if you want to lose weight, put in the effort to workout. If you want to be a better Christian, put in the effort to read the Word, pray, spend time with Godly people, and actually go to church rather than sleeping in because you are tired. If you want to date the perfect guy- a guy who treats you with respect, loves the Lord, and is in a good place in life, then- to be blunt- get your act together, stop messing around with “okay” guys for the sake of pleasure, spend time with God, and realize this: a guy who loves the Lord deeply does not want a girl who compromises her integrity [and vice versus].

Overall my point is simply that whatever you feel needs change in your life, you will not see it without you putting in the effort, the sacrifice, or the discipline to get there. Above all, I cannot separate any of this from faith. Do not live your life in opposition to God’s Word or truth and wonder why your relationship with God is a mess. Do not compromise godly living for cultural acceptance. Living to honor God, develop yourself as a better person, or really anything in between, starts with a step toward change. Ultimately, its up to you.

[Service Four of the “End of the world as we know it” Camp 2012 with speaker Garland Owensby/my thoughts] 

Surely you have seen the movie, or at least know about it: Pirates of the Caribbean, of course the first one. The whole premise behind the movie is that a bunch of cursed pirates are on a mission to find the last lost coin, 1 of 882 lost coins. The reason- the break the curse. The last coin is found but blood is still needed to be shed- the blood of the one who stole it, or their child. If you haven’t seen the movie, I won’t give it away. But see it! Its one of my favorites! 

The pirate Barbosa, was the one in deep search for that which was lost- the the final coin. Barbosa was driven to find it no matter the cost. Please look at this allegorically, not as something we actually need to do. We are not pirates, nor have we lost a coin of Cortez Aztec gold. But, there is a message to be found here. We are all people in search of something. What motivates you to look for things? Is it a mentality of: “If it gives me pleasure…if I get something.” The thing is…we look for what we value. 

In Luke 15, it talks about a woman who lost a coin. She was obviously not wealthy which was exactly why losing just one coin mattered so much to her. She searched and searched until she found it. The question to be asked is “who” or “what” is/are the lost coins? The answer is that those are outside of relationship with Jesus. Jesus is looking for those that everyone else stopped looking for. The problem is that often, sadly often, we put ourselves in a place where we place ourselves above others thinking they still deserve Hell… grace is for you and still for them, regardless of who they are or what they have done. How do we respond to this? Be intentional because love requires action. Its worth the investment to find the lost. If God values them, then we need to value everyone. When the lost is found, rejoice! 

 

Here are a few stories: 

“If God calls you, the safest place for you is in His will.” – Christian Shoemaker. Christian said that at the beginning of World War 1. He died of of smallpox in India. His wife stayed in India for another 33 years. Of his six kids, five are missionaries. The other is a pastor. To this family, people mattered. They were deeply valuable regardless of race, religion, background or anything else. 

Mary Curie was a woman in Lebanon- she was a Christian and Lebanon was a Muslim nation. She vowed that “I will obey Him”, and she did. One night she watched as each of her family members were murdered, shot by Muslims. They then shot her and left her body on the ground, only to be found days later still alive. She was completely paralyzed. Her response to the brutality of them, was this: “My life will be a prayer”. She vowed to pray for them daily, to pray for God’s love to be seen. 

Lillian Trasher, became known as the Mother of the Nile. That term doesn’t even give justice to this woman’s life. Lillian broke off her engagement to a great Christian man because she felt God was calling her to pick up and move to Egypt. So to Egypt she did move. While she was there, she was handed a baby by a dying woman. Her only response was to make sure that baby could have a chance at life- she nursed, got it healthy, and slowly became a mother to hundreds of kids in Egypt, as one by one her heart broke, and one by one she was going after the “lost coins”. 

You see with all of these stories, with plenty more just like them, these people were able to look beyond someone’s story, background, color or religion because they saw something else. They saw that every person on this Earth was created by God, with purpose, and are part of God’s love story. They believed every person was valuable and lived and died believing so. 

[This is from service three of “End of the world as we know it” Camp 2012 with speaker Garland Owensby/my thoughts]

We all want to know where we came from. We all have a start, a story, a beginning. Look at any adopted kid- so many of them have no clue to what their history is. They have no idea what their story is. They have no idea where they came from. In John 1, there is a direct link to Genesis. 

John 1:1-5
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him there was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it…the Word became flesh and dwelt among us.

The terminology used might confuse you if you’re not familiar with this passage of the Bible but bear with me. This scripture directly references two things: 1) Creation 2) Christ as Creation. Jesus Christ has always been…and will always be. (Hi)story happens…history paired with His story of love is exactly what John was writing about. At one point he said to his disciples that he will build his church. But in the original Greek, he said “ecclessia”. This was extremely significant. At the time, the Romans ruled everything and because of that, a ton of people were outcasted, rejected, left out. Their version of “ecclesia” was, in essence, an assembly of rich voting land-owning men. When Jesus came around he wanted to show them how much he loved his people- his very Creation that he has loved from the beginning. He changed the definition of “ecclessia” by saying that by his love, all were accepted. He challenged his followers to go to everyone because they belong. 

The world may tell you that you don’t belong. Or the world may say that the disabled doesn’t belong. The different may not belong. But Jesus says that his love is greater than any of the world’s judgments, criticisms, or separations. Its time for his “ecclessia” to be built. Check out Galatians 3:26-29:

…for in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slavet nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise.

The world, the culture always looks to divisions and differences. True “ecclessia” looks to Jesus- his love and his story for us. With that we are all connected. We need to be there for each other- not in judgment or condemnation, but in love and compassion. Carry each others’ burdens because Jesus carried something that was never meant for him- the cross- our cross. To be the church- Jesus’ “ecclessia” we are to be one, supportive unit, that holds each other up, especially when we are weak or struggling. With that, we also hold each accountable and draw out the best in each other. That is the “ecclessia”…and you belong. It came from Christ, in the beginning. 

[Service two of “End of the World as we know it” camp 2012- speaker Garland Owensby/my thoughts]

You see… the world likes us to believe that there is nothing special within is. Every advertisement tries to convince us that we have to lose weight, buy those clothes, use that product, use this supplement, and blah blah blah. That’s how I feel by the average advertisement I see or hear…blah. We constantly have to “improve” ourselves in order to be “good enough”, “skinny enough”, “hot enough”, desirable enough”, or whatever other crap- yes I said crap- our culture tells us to be. But you see, there is so much more than this culture. There is God. God created this world we live in, however perverted and different it has become from its original creation. 

Look at Psalm 139 [sections]:

O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it!

For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

David, the writer of this Psalm, knew that he was not accident, not just a person to live on this earth and die with no purpose at all. He knew, from his years of intense mistakes, the grace of God upon his life. He knew how much God’s love was for him, because without God’s love, things would have been vastly different. David understand that God intensely loved him. 

God intensely loves you! You are not an accident. He created you with purpose. In order to understand that you have purpose for your life, understand this…God is crazy about you. He is excited seeing you live out your life…or at least that’s his desire. He is our God, our Father, and he deeply wants to lead us in a way that is good for us, because it honors him. So when we live out lives in selfishness and in disregard to your life as his Creation, it saddens him deeply. We are “fearfully and wonderfully made” which means we were made in great awe, in deep love, for incredible purpose. When we begin to believe in the words of the Father instead of the words of the world, we begin to look at ourselves through a completely different lens. 

Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there is any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!

When we see ourselves the way God created us- a beautiful creations a part of his whole plan and purpose- we can reject the world within us. We can end its domain on our lives and not listen to the lies, the deceit, or the pain. We also need to reject the part of the world that we have allowed within us- sin. Whatever sin [things that draw you farther from God, not closer, and things that go in direct opposition to his Word], we need to remove and repent of. God is a gracious God who gives us strength to overcome anything. He gives us the ability to live the amazing adventurous lives that I believe he has created us for. 

Not exactly what you think, just to preface this. This, my friends, is the theme of camp. 

This year, the NJ Assemblies of God camp for senior [speaker Garland Owensby] and junior high [speaker “Chubbs”] was themed as “ITS THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT”. Honestly, I don’t think we could have had a better theme. In light of the Mayan calendar prediction of the end of the world coming this December, people more and more are thinking about their own lives, pursuing their dreams, or doing everything they always wanted to. A small majority of people actually believe the end of the world will happen as the Mayan’s predicted 1500 years ago. The vast majority of people will continue to live exactly as they are… and that is the point. Though we [Christians] know that at some point life will no longer exist as we know now. But also, as Christians, believe that there is something foundational in our decision to follow Christ. Camp this year was themed around this concept: ending the desires of the world and self within oneself, and allowing for God to work. 

 

So I begin with these thoughts and notes from service one with Garland’s message and my thoughts:

1 John 2:15-17 can be summed up with this: 1) Lust of the flesh 2) Lust of the eyes and 3) Pride of life. 

What do you love…really?
“I don’t want Jesus to end up in a box…to end up as a fad.”

Don’t fall in love with things! You weren’t designed to be just a consumer. Your design is not for things because loving things will always disappoint. I mean really- who doesn’t get upset if someone messes with their stuff? But the reality is that we get so caught up and upset if someone touches or  messes with our stuff, yet it almost never fazes us if someone messes with God’s stuff.

You are MORE than the world’s [culture’s] cravings and desires in you or for you. The world wants us to be be attracted to things that don’t matter, things that ultimately have no value. Its not bad to have things, but its our attitude towards things, towards people, and towards the thing of God that matter. 

“The attractive things about America to outsides is the materialism, not the spirituality. [Eugene Peterson]” The sad thing is how true this statement is. America is a nation, known to the world, as one of extreme greed, selfishness, desire that is never satisfied, and one of a central focus on Number One, oneself. We are a nation that is so selfish yet we seem shocked that the American Dream is not what it used to be. The American Dream used to be something people had to strive after, work hard for, be disciplined for, but above all it was something for the betterment of America, your family, and yourself. Now, it is all about the self. Can it be that the American Dream is not the Jesus Dream? As Christians we need to sync ourselves with the eternal, lasting things- just like if you sync an iPod or something to a laptop. Sometimes we don’t get mad about the things that makes Jesus mad. Yes, he does get mad. He does not like his children, the people he died for, to turn their back on his Word- like justice, holiness, purity, compassion, and the hurting. Sometimes we don’t get sad about the things that make Jesus. We need to  see people as God sees them, to love people the way God loves them, and to live the way God wants us to live- in a manner worthy of the love that was crucified. 

Lastly, don’t ignore the warning signs. Yes, back to the ancient worlds. You can believe or not that the world will end…whether in December or another era altogether. But realize this- your life will end one day. Don’t live a life thinking that at the end you will have a chance at God’s love. Jesus paid an eternal price for you- for me- that we can live a life of greatness, adventure, love, and beauty. That’s how he created us! But this world- culture- does not want to honor God. There are warning signs all around us of the absence of God within our world, not just American culture. It is our choice how we are going to live. Will you look at the things around you, God’s Word, and live for him in spite of the pressures of our world? Look at the story of the city of Pompeii. When Mt. Vesuvius erupted, it wasn’t a surprise for the city. There were plenty of warning signs that something terrible and disastrous was coming. There were tremors, thunderstorms, smoke…there was enough warning for every person within that city to escape to safety and continue to live a full life. About 20,000 people escaped the city leaving 2,000 people that refused- 2,000 people that chose to ignore the warnings of disaster. 2,000 people that were killed in a violent, painful way. That is exactly what Christ did for us…he died so we could have an escape plan from our selfishness, greed, sin…go back to 1 John 2:15-17. Don’t live your life pretending that disaster cannot touch you. Live your life believing that there is a purpose, that you were created for more than what you’re currently living for, that you could indeed have something bigger, and better ahead for you. 

I believe in life there are certain moments. Defining moments. Challenging moments. Ones that force you to look at your life, who you were and who you have become. Ones that demand a response. But above all, life has those moments that change your life forever. 

You have a choice to act on those moments or let them disappear. You have a choice to let them be a catalyst within the life you are currently living. Every moment matters. Though it may seem small, it most certainly matters. Though it may be a big moment, it will not be the only one, nor the last.

Seize the moments- the ones that shape you to becoming a better person. Seize those moments that bring out the very best in your, yet challenge you to be better. Seize those divine, God-inspired, beautiful moments that you know are just for you. God has uniquely created you to be someone of significance and of beauty. Your life is not one of dull moments, but of beautiful ones that will bring the greatest adventure that is your life, if you choose to have faith that every moments has a purpose. Every person you meet, every place you go, everything you do…matters because each of those moments, in some way, is part of your life’s purpose. 

I want to live my life in an on-going adventure because I know, with faith and obedience to God. With every job choice, decision to move, the man I decide to marry, and even in the small moments of times with friends or gazing at the sunset. Every moment may be fleeting but shapes a part of my life. At the end of my life, I want to know it was well-lived, embracing every moment, good and bad, easy and hard, because every single one is a part of that life to some extent.