This morning around 4:45 am I got into a car accident. What a way to start a Monday. The past few days have already been emotionally exhausting- read my prior posts to see why. I’m emotionally drained. I’m mentally exhausted. Now I’m physically sore.
It could have been worse.
As I woke up my normal time at 4:23 am [with multiple alarms to follow assuring my waking up by 4:30am], I got ready for work at Starbucks. It was any other Monday. Despite my baggy eyes and exhaustion from lack of sleep and mourning over the loss of a friend, I got up for work and left by 4:45am. Immediately I was aware of icy conditions and chose to dry extra careful this morning. In fact yesterday as I drove to and from Pennington- about 80 miles round trip from my house- I saw over a dozen serious car accidents. The roads were terrible and incredibly dangerous in certain parts. Having seen the conditions yesterday, I wanted to drive safe, so I did. Even though I did everything right….it did not matter.
Weather doesn’t care about a perfect record for driving. It doesn’t care whether or not you can’t afford an accident. It doesn’t care about you, good or bad. As I drove toward my job, and was less than 5 minutes away [2 miles], I saw the thick sheet of ice covering the entire width of the road. I slowed down even more, prepared for my tires to possibly lose control, and had both hands on the steering wheel ready to take necessary action. As both of my right tires hit the ice, the spin started, and I did everything right but even in doing everything right, nothing could really be done.
In my head, maybe even out loud, I prayed for protection all the while controlling the spin as best as I could to avoid hitting nearly head on a telephone pole. My car had spin around completely and then some more before it stopped. I took a minute to breathe before getting out of my car to look at the damage. To my surprise it wasn’t terrible. It is still a few hundred dollars to fix, but it could have been worse...it could have definitely been worse. Had I not controlled the spin, I would have hit the pole, I would have been injured, and it would have been more serious. Had I not been paying attention to my speed and the road conditions, the accident could have been far more serious than a broken bumper and shattered lights.
As I was standing in the 20 degrees in the dark on the phone with police, I couldn’t help but think about yesterday, specifically last night. Last night before bed I posted a blog stating that God is good regardless of situations or circumstances. God is good. And as I stood in the cold, really mad and shaken up, I remembered my own words that God is good. What a test of my own beliefs. If I believe that God is good when things are going well, if I believe that he is faithful and steadfast, that means when things don’t go my way, when things are frustrating, sad or enraging, God still is good. His goodness never fades and never leaves, we can just choose to not see it or believe it.
I saw as several cars spun out in the exact same way as me. I saw as one truck came close to hitting me. I saw the potential for things to be worse, but in the midst of it…I saw His goodness. I saw that God kept me safe. I saw that God protected me from injury. I saw that God protected other drivers. The cop who arrived on scene saw that somehow I missed the telephone pole. Yes, yes….God is indeed good.
I don’t have answers for bad things. I don’t have understanding of His ways all the time. But if I have learned anything in my past year of many trials, struggles, and difficulties is that God has been by my side giving me strength and perseverance in spite of my situations. I have learned that he loves me and his love is constant and unwavering. Whatever you struggle with, whatever you face in your life right now, know that God is here with you waiting for you to rely on his love and peace. With him, you can have rest, peace, joy, comfort, and strength. Life comes as at us fast and sometimes painfully. I’d rather do life with God as a part of my story than trying it on my own.
He is good. I know this to be true.