Category: Thoughts

Godly heritage.

On By MJIn ThoughtsLeave a comment

Godly heritage of America is not something a lot of people in this nation think about anymore. In fact it is actually discouraged. And frankly, my heart is heavy by that truth. America, with all of its flawed glory, was launched into concept when a group of people realized they wanted freedom to worship and pray how they wanted. But it was more than just worship. To the Founders of our nation, it was for freedom… period. From tyranny, from a king thousands of miles away, from injustice, and more. Yes, believe me, I well understand that though that was the intention America is full of a blood stained past of its own assortment of problems. But the concept of the Founding Fathers amaze me. Their courage to believe boldly, for most of them, in the Word of God, pray publicly, pray corporately, and stand firm that they were a nation that was not going to compromise the truth of God in their lives. Separation of Church and State did not exist. It was not and never was intended to become a concept. God was central in the founding of this nation. That truth is dripping from the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, the Amendments.

I would give anything to have experienced that just for a moment. To live in a nation where the government often was centered on the question “What does God’s heart have to say about this?” or to live in that time where the first Congress gathered and began with a convocation of prayer because they knew that laws and government and military needed God in the midst of it. Faith in God founded this nation. Belief in God led the emancipation of slavery. It was foundational in bringing literacy to the grasp of all people simply by giving people Bibles and helping them learn how to read from it’s pages. It was faith that recognized in the early 1900’s that though slavery didn’t exist, mistreatment of blacks was still a very brutal and yet justified behavior by many. Yes, not every single Christian wanted integration and equality for blacks but that does not mean that was God’s heart. My point is that faith and belief in God has been a foundational movement for momentum in America.

I will say this- I don’t think the Founders necessarily meant for the nation to be a “Christian” nation- but one that definitely had a lot to do with God. They lived in an era where everyday life wasn’t meant to be separated from God. Yes they each were flawed with their own sin and struggles. I’m sure there were plenty of drunks, adulterers and slanderers in the midst of the Founders of America. But I will say this…they knew that despite their issues they needed God. And now we live in America that regards God as barely even an option. Justification for abortion, revoking the right to bear arms [which was significant when that Amendment was made], justification for passivity on other injustices around the world. I firmly believe that if we are able to help others, then why not? I am not bashing our government in any way. In fact, I still maintain that I am a true patriot.

But I will say this: I am a believer and follower of Christ LONG before I will say I am an American. Everything I say and do needs to reflect my relationship with the LORD above all else. I admire the Founders because when they fought for the freedom of America, they kept God central in the argument for justice and freedom and liberty. I admire their fervor and passion. I feel as though the America of today is missing something. We are trying so hard to make everyone happy that in reality few really are. Being tolerant of everything and anything was never the intention of the Founders and yet that has become our anthem. Yes injustices and equality to an extent needs to happen. But the government was never designed to tell the Church that they can or cannot worship in a certain way, location or method UNLESS it physically harmed others. The principles of Christianity were brought into government originally for the sake that even if you did not believe them you could not deny that the concepts were good [i.e. not allowing murder, stealing, adultery, etc.]. This is not a blog about America being bad, condemning our government, etc. I know that enough Christians do that already without adding to the list. Simply, I am saying that as a believer in Christ, I believe our nation started with a good focus on the LORD and that focus has since disappeared.

My challenge in this is simply for Christians to serve Christ first. Before criticizing, judging, condemning, or cursing our government and leaders do what I believe many of the Founders did and really want Christians have done throughout the past 2,000 years when they see some form of injustice, compromise or  anything in between…they went back to the basics and prayed. They got on their knees, they wept, they prayed- publicly and privately, and they have changed history to once again recognize their God and make him central in every aspect of life, including government. That meant removing their own crap and allowing God to use them for His glory not their own. If we even dream about having a godly nation, a nation founded on the Word, it starts right in your own heart.

JJ’s story. {Jesus Loves Porns Star, Pt. 2}

On By MJIn Thoughts2 Comments

I figure one blog post about this weekend was not going to be enough to explain what I experienced. So much happened in so little time that I have to decompress and really think about it all. I met so many people this weekend, probably most of which I will never see again. They will continue on with their lives and may even forget that they met me, the short, blonde, non-porn star at the Jesus booth at the eXXXotica porn convention. But there are a few… just a few that I pray to God I get to see again. I pray that I can encounter them somewhere, even at the next eXXXotica later this year. I have their names written down with descriptions in case I forget them, though I doubt I will. With all the people- the hundreds of people I personally met this weekend, there was only one person that had me thinking about beyond just hoping they open the Bible and read it. Let me preface this for a second… I was not thinking about him sexually, romantically or any other way that someone could turn my words around. I can’t fully explain it, I just know… there was something about JJ.

JJ. John.

The story of meeting JJ actually starting by meeting Jason [I think]. So let me start from the beginning:

Sunday evening the expo started to wrap things up and crowds were dwindling down. It was actually a common occurrence when guys would walk to our XXXchurch booth and flirt with the girls [me being one of them] hoping to get one or more of us to go out with them later. So with our booth being empty of passers-by and a lot of our team, two guys walked toward my friend and I to, of course, find out if we were indeed porn stars. Surprised by their lack of disappointment, they proceeded to ask my friend and I to the club and bar after we tore down our booth. After some small talk I asked for their names. The first, and most talkative of the two, proclaimed that his name was Jason. He then said “this is my friend John”… to which John heard and jokingly responded “you told them my real name?” I couldn’t help by  laugh. To some level John was trying to hide his real name from the people he was meeting at the expo. His real name was John, but he introduced himself to me as JJ. So having met Jason and John I introduced myself as Mandy, however, I did tell John that he could call me MJ. It may sound simple but on some small level I was trying to relate with him.

I don’t know JJ or Jason’s stories. I don’t know their backgrounds. But there were a few things I could pick up on based on our 10 minute conversation. We gave each of them a “Jesus Loves Porn Stars” book (Bible) and then slapped stickers on their arms and chests. It was actually the typical reaction to every guy that came by our booth. Women too for that matter. But something here was different. I noticed that Jason controlled the conversation, which isn’t necessarily bad. He was excited to be at the expo because as he proclaimed, he also loves porn stars and sex. He loves to drink and party. For at least 5 to 10 minutes he tried impressing my friend and I with his stories of drunken ridiculousness: having to walk 10 or so miles because he didn’t have a ride, breaking things while drunk, etc. JJ stood and listened, occasionally responding with a comment, but for the most part he let Jason speak. And speak. And speak. I was definitely not annoyed nor did I feel uncomfortable. Also, to point out, I was not impressed by his stories, though he was definitely a funny story teller. I noticed that every time we would share something about Jesus or XXXchurch, especially porn addiction, he would have to change the subject to something else he has done. What I found interesting was that the moment his phone rang, he walked away leaving JJ behind.

That is when things became a little more real. JJ and I were left alone at one corner of our XXXchurch booth to chat and I am honestly so glad. The moment Jason had walked away, I felt like suddenly JJ opened up and wanted to talk more about XXXchurch and porn addiction. Eventually the conversation even found its way to why I have become a part of XXXchurch. He was amazed at the truth behind porn addiction. He was challenged by the fact that I was simply at the convention, unthreatened nor freaked out, just to tell people that Jesus loved them, even them. The whole time JJ and I were talking, I had this gut feeling, almost like God was speaking into my heart from his (JJ’s). I felt like JJ wanted more… more than sex, more than porn, more than partying. Just more. More depth, more love, more truth. It didn’t even seem like JJ wanted to be there, at the expo. He explained some of his story to me- where he went to college, what he does now, and how he is trying to figure things out for what’s next. He wanted to know my story. He let me talk. He invited me into his world, not to get laid, not be like so many of the guys at the expo, but to know more about my world and Jesus. He was so incredibly nice and respectful. Ironically, I’d even go as far to say gentlemanly.

Whatever his story is in the details I don’t know, I know this: Jesus loves JJ.  At the end of the conversation I wish I had given him some form of contact information. I know that there was and is something tugging at his heart. I can’t explain it, I just know. For what its worth, I hope JJ knows that Jesus loves him, that his story isn’t over, that God has more for him. All I know is that JJ is from Brigantine, went to F.I.T. and now makes  furniture down the shore. Those are the details he told me, but that’s definitely not all I know. I pray that somewhere, some way I can reconnect with him. I pray that somehow our paths will cross again. He has the XXXchurch book “Jesus Loves Porn Stars” which actually has contact info inside… I hope and pray he not only reads the book, but contacts XXXchurch; that he finds the love of Jesus to be deeply true, that his life can be greater than ever imagined.

So to you JJ, I pray for you. I have been since I met you on Sunday. I have been intentionally praying that you discover who Jesus really is and can be for you! I pray that you read the Bible and contact us. I pray that we meet again and that when we do, we can have honest conversation again and you can tell me how Jesus loves you and that you have your hope in Him. But no matter what happens, I will pray for you.

Jesus loves you JJ.

Jesus Loves Porn Stars.

On By MJIn Awareness, Thoughts2 Comments

[I’d love for you to read this update, but please know, I am not using a filter nor am I dumbing down what I experienced for the sake of offensive material]

I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I signed up. All I knew was that I was going to Atlantic City for eXXXotica… the nation’s largest adult entertainment expo. Let me put it more simply: I knew I was going to a large porn convention. I am a Christian and I love Jesus. Because I love Jesus, I also love people. It doesn’t matter who they are or where they come from…I just love them. That was my motivation behind going to eXXXotica. Myself and a dozen others went with an organization called XXXchurch, a non-profit designed to reach out to those in the sex industry and their patrons. We simply went to tell people one message: Jesus loves them.

For three days, my surroundings were x-rated.  Upon entering the main doors, “hotties” greet you, dressed in 6″ heels, a g-string, and pasties barely covering the nipples. That was not an uncommon scene. In fact, most of the “hotties” and “entertainers” wore something similar-  minimal clothing,  high heels, and glitzed makeup. The exhibitors at the expo were set up just like any job fair, festival, marketplace… the difference being the  material in which they sold or advertised. Nearly every table would greet the guests of the expo with nearly naked women [and some men], x-rated materials of hardcore and softcore pornography, and of course… giveaways and freebies of their merchandise. Fetishes of all sorts were present-Dungeon and S&M sex fetishes were actually a large area of the venue. People could meet and get pictures with their favorite strippers, porn stars, and other lady entertainers. Tables everywhere were selling dildoes, various forms of vibrators, condoms, flavored condoms, lotions and sensual massage oils. Don’t forget the “lolli-cock” stand… chocolate and fruity flavored lollipops in the shape of varying sizes of penises. In case anyone wanted to test their balance skills paired with sexual pleasure they could also jump onto the mechanical penis… basically a mechanical bull but not a bull. The other  option was the pleasurable see-saw which we were lucky enough to have right next to our booth of XXXchurch.  With exhibitors to met every fantasy, lust, fetish, and more, every person coming to  eXXXotica would leave happier than when they came in…

Surely not an environment for the easily offended or the prude. Good thing I’m neither.

And yet… Jesus loves them. Yes even them.

How dare we, the collective Church, believe that the love of Jesus cannot extend to those of this industry. Jesus loves the strippers, the go-go girls, porn producers, porn stars, escorts, and don’t forget the consumers and patrons. The moment we start thinking Jesus can’t or won’t love someone is the moment we have missed His heart. It is the moment we have missed everything He lived and died for; His reason for everything is love. Not the grotesque display of love as shown at an expo like eXXXotica, but a love that goes deep, that is intimate, that is real, that is tangible and that changes your life forever. That love infiltrates the darkness. By XXXchurch being present at eXXXotica in Atlantic City, we brought forth the light of Jesus’ love into a world deemed unfit and unworthy by so many in the Church. With scrutiny by Christians, we proceeded to be present. We proceeded to tell people that Jesus does IN FACT love porn stars and everyone else associated with the industry. Jesus loves them all. I’ll take it an even further step… Jesus loves even the child pornographer. The rapist. The molester. The trafficker. The pimp. He loves every single person that I saw walk through those front doors passed the “hotties” with the pasties and the mechanical penis. He loves every single one of the ladies walking around in their 6″ heels. He loves every single porn producer selling their merchandise. His love goes deeper.

photo-1

In the midst of the hypersexualized environment that I had voluntarily placed myself, I and my friends of XXXchurch gave out books called “Jesus Loves Porn Stars”.  They were actually the Gospel of John with stories of people from the sex industry mixed in, people that discovered how true His love really was for them. We gave those brightly colored books to anyone who would take them. People love free stuff, so we gave it to them along with HOT Pink “Jesus Loves Porn Stars” stickers. In fact people loved the stickers so much they kept coming back for them. We would stick it on their arms, chest, even butts… and for the ladies.. the boobs on top of their clothes or their pasties. But the point was that we were walking into their lives, their turf and were not afraid and not backing down. We don’t go to convert everyone. We went to share His love and let His love do the rest. I know there were so many people that didn’t get the books, either from refusing to take it or just not stopping by our booth. But there were those… the ones that took it were maybe snarling, laughing, chuckling at the sight of seeing a colorful covered book with the line that “Jesus Loves Porn Stars”. Some took it with appreciation. But I know, I just know, that some of those people will open it. They will read it. They will discover.. discover truth and love unlike anything they have ever seen or heard before. Some of them will take it another step… they will contact XXXchurch, among the many others thousands a year, and want to know more, want to be free, want to have love- real love- His love.

I will do this again. Some day, hopefully soon. But beyond that, I want to not forget. I met some amazing people this weekend. I also met some creeps, some drunks, some pervs that I even still cannot forget. I met some amazing ladies of the industry. I can’t forget them either. Jesus loves every person I met this weekend. Not a single one was not worth my time or money to be there. Every conversation and every Bible or sticker we gave out matters to me because it matters to Him. I have list of people I met and I will be praying for them.

You are more beautiful than you think.

On By MJIn ThoughtsLeave a comment

I have to say…Dove gets it. Dove, the beauty product line gets it. They understand that women especially are severe on their own image more than others.  I will quickly point out that they are still a flawed company and have their own issues [as they are owned by the same company that owns Axe, Lever 2000, etc.] and I am simply focusing on this ad. Look at the array of beauty products and self-enhancers. Wear this [insert type of makeup] and look more beautiful than ever. Use [insert hair product] and your hair will be better! It goes as far as encouraging injections, cosmetic surgeries, expensive beauty treatments all with the hope that you’ll look better which will of course make you feel better.  The problem is women can use all the variety of products they want but they will still be dissatisfied if they don’t know how to view their self without the products. Add to the fact that if women think of their body has even slightest overweight, they will try various dietary supplements, try every diet, have an eating disorder, etc. If women don’t feel great about themselves before the product, what makes those companies think they will feel better after? This is where Dove has it right. They get it. They get that women struggle with appearance and self-esteem. Yes, of course its marketing for their company, but hey it worked for me simply because I support what they are doing… helping women realize they are already beautiful.

Whatever your race, background, height, weight, hair color, eye color, shape of face, or anything else… we are all beautiful. I’ve actually said this for years. Try to find the beauty in everyone, even men. Why? We are ALL create in the Image of God which means part of that beauty is within each of us. Who decides if someone is attractive or not? Beautiful or not? Handsome or not? If we all try to see the beauty in others, we’ll see the beauty in ourselves. If we begin to see the beauty in our ourselves, we’ll see the beauty in others. When we stop being so critical of fitting a mold of supposed human perfection, than we can begin to see beauty for what it is. Check out this video made by Dove, called “Real Beauty Sketches”

Dove.

I will chime in for one minute about what it means to be healthy. I believe everyone is beautiful to a degree, however, not everyone is healthy. I think it is very important to not confuse the two nor forget about health. Being healthy means not eating crap all the time, taking care of you body [which again includes the food/drinks/vitamins/etc you put into your body] and having exercise as a staple of your week, if not day. I’m not saying everyone needs to be marathon runners, body builders or look like supermodels. I am saying we each need to take care of bodies, eat better [let’s be serious… almost all of us can improve on this], and have some bit of regular physical fitness. We wonder why we are tired all the time, feel crappy, have acne, or are overweight. There you go…food for thought [not to eat]

Know you are beautiful. You were made in the image of God. BUT we should care about our bodies a little bit more that what we do. Let’s not worry about vanity so much. Yes, you can wear makeup and cute clothes and not be vain. You can work out and not be vain. Its perfectly fine to want to get dressed up and look fancy and FEEL beautiful, but always remember that you already are beautiful. Its also important to care about the health of said body. A huge part of feeling beautiful comes from not liking your physical body because you might be overweight. I don’t mean to sound harsh or inconsiderate, but rather than have a pity party about feeling fat [and maybe actually being overweight] go to the gym and develop a plan. When I first starting working out a few years ago- like going to a gym on a regular basis working out- I actually started to feel better. My body was actually getting healthier and I physically felt better. Don’t neglect that aspect of yourself, BUT never EVER EVER forget that you are beautiful. You are beautiful, way more than you think you are.

Hiatus.

On By MJIn Thoughts1 Comment

So its been quite an interesting past few months and I haven’t written anything.  I have had so many ideas, inspirations, Biblical applications, etc. and yet I just find myself purely exhausted. I want to write yet I don’t. I want to share my thoughts then I don’t. Simply, I’m just tired. And I’m sick of being tired. Four months ago I had pneumonia and since I have not fully recovered. I have not been able to catch my breath at times. That goes for physically but also metaphorically. My workouts have been, well, crap. Despite my efforts to run multiple 5k races, train for my second Tough Mudder, and maybe even start training for a marathon, my body is fighting me.  In fact, I have even gained an unpleasant amount of weight since my Tough Mudder… aka when I got pneumonia and stopped working out for 3 months [and eating like crazy].  On top of my health issues, I have had some busyness elsewhere with the church, friends and family visiting, special events, and more. I moved into an apartment, my first completely alone. Even with these others events and people being in town, I still could have been pushing myself more, ya know because we always need to be busy doing something.

But I find myself now, five months since my Tough Mudder and the initial pneumonia, and I have had a ton of time to reflect. I mean really reflect, pray, and think about things. Let’s just call it a sabbatical of a sort. During this time of less busyness than usual, moving into my first solo apartment, and being sick where often I’m in bed earlier than normal… God has done so much. He has proved to be faithful. He has proved to be intentional, timely in his way [not necessarily mine], and faithful.  I realized today such a simple yet profound lesson. Spring definitely has arrived. As I sat outside of  my church today in a t-shirt and shorts with a blanket, my Bible, a journal, worship music and the warm sun beaming down… He is a good God and I don’t just rest in Him enough.  I have been forced to relax more with my sickness but even in that I haven’t been entirely resting in Him.

Rest.
Breathe.
Relax.

Sometimes we need to just sit in His presence. We don’t need to be doing anything profound. We don’t need to be busy. We don’t need to be figuring out how to save the world or preach the best sermon. We need to learn to just love Him and let that overflow into our lives. No wonder we get so physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally drained… we don’t have enough of Him in our lives! We get so caught up and distracted with ministry  family, school, friends, church, arguing about the Church, ranting about politics, ranting about the government, worrying about money, worrying about relationships that we completely forget to invite God to be in our lives at all or even a little. We can’t fit Him in our schedules. Whatever excuses we can come up with are never good enough.

He just wants to spend time with you alone. He wants you to rest in Him. If we believe, that the sun can brighten our day because it is now springtime, why can’t we let Him brighten our spirits? He can give us strength. He can give us courage to face the difficulty and the ability to overcome. He can provide for you, but sometimes we don’t have faith in Him. A lot of the problems we, as the collective Church, have aren’t necessarily going to cease but we can at least go through them, overcome them, have joy in them, and strength in them if we just let him have more of us. Intimacy. Faithfulness. Love. We all love receiving good things from Him, but often we fail to give him even a portion of our day, portion of our heart, soul, mind or strength. And in that we find ourselves weak, frail, weary Christians struggling to make it through the day. Stop being so busy. Stop trying to work hard enough to please yourself or Him. Stop trying to do things your way. For a moment, just rest. Relax in Him. Maybe pick up the Bible. Listen to worship music. Take a walk and talk to Him out loud. Just find a place for you and God to be together.

broken faith.

On By MJIn ThoughtsLeave a comment

As I was reading the Bible today, from Numbers specifically, I came across something rather simple yet found myself getting (figuratively) slapped in the face.  The phrase “broken faith” kept coming up in my reading. In my observance of this, I decided to check out ol’ Google and see what it has to say about it. BAM! Slapped in the face…

Broken faith: 
be disloyal, betray, be unfaithful to, untrue to (spouse)

From what I found out Every. Single. Time. the phrase “broken faith” appears in the Bible it is referring to the breaking of a relationship between man and wife OR Man’s relationships to God. There has to be something significant in that statement. In context, this phrase isn’t referring to friendships having problems, bosses having problems with employees, or anything else except for two distinct relationships. It is especially significant that the phrase isn’t ONLY used with Man’s relationship to God or ONLY used with the relationship between husband and wife.

The reality is that there is something powerful, strong, beautiful, and covenantal about those two relationships above all other relationships in someone’s life. The depth and intimacy that come with marriage is absolutely the most communal and important relationship between man and wife. However, many people today don’t value marriage. They don’t value the vow taken at the altar or the commitment to remain true and honest and pure with their spouse… until death do us part. I’m not saying any of this as a bash of those who have marital problems, been divorced, or those that aren’t even married. Heck, I’m not even married. All I am trying to do is show that in God’s word- the Bible- marriage is the most valuable relationship on earth because it mirrors our relationship to God. When we can learn to be honorable, pure, respecting, committed, honest, forgiving, (and the list goes on…) with our spouse we get a glimpse of His love for us. We can see the magnitude of the brokenness that comes with broken vows, betrayal, unfaithfulness, hurt…we get a glimpse of God’s heart for us in our betrayal of him.

Most Christians probably do not look at their lives as a betrayal to God. But the truth is that we all are capable and probably have been unfaithful to God. He hurts for us. He longs for us. He forgives us. The two relationships are to be mirrored. In marriages, we can mirror the love- enduring, passionate, powerful, forgiving love- that God has for us.  Christians and the Church NEED to place marriage on a higher level of importance and beauty because well…many people don’t care as much. The world is fine with divorce, is fine with perversion, is fine with “falling out of love”, and many are even becoming fine with infidelity. God is not. God longs for his love to be revealed in marriages all over. He longs to be exalted and honored through the marriages of Godly people, to where the world can see that there is something significant, beautiful, and powerful such a marriage. He longs to restore broken relationships. He longs to restore broken people.

I know this is nothing profound today, but something that really struck me as I read.  Whenever I get married, I want to believe that it is possible to have a marriage that reflects the heart and love of God. One that forgives. One that has compassion. One of redemption. One that lasts, not because it is perfect but because Grace is central. I want a Gospel-centered, Christ-honoring, love and forgiveness filled marriage. With effort, I believe its possible. I want a man so in love with Jesus that it is undeniable, alluring, breathtaking, and challenging. I want his love for Him to overflow and show throughout all of his life. I believe it is possible to have a marriage that is healthy when it is Christ-centric. This is the marriage that I want.

 

I also believe that the broken faith…the one about your relationship to God, can be absolutely restored. Maybe you’ve never cared about God or relationship with him. Maybe you have grown up in church. Maybe you walked away from having any faith at all. I can promise you this: the love I know I have through relationship in Jesus Christ is one that has changed my life. I am redeemed. I am restored. I am new. I am different. That broken faith is no more.

On By MJIn ThoughtsLeave a comment

This is such truth. Having been the product of being raised in the church and now returning in ministry…there is such validity to this post. I see the Church failing at reaching my generation because in being relevant, they have forgotten His truth.

marc5solas's avatarMarc5Solas

Screen Shot 2013-02-08 at 9.03.31 AM

We all know them, the kids who were raised in church. They were stars of the youth group. They maybe even sang in the praise band or led worship. And then… they graduate from High School and they leave church. What happened?

It seems to happen so often that I wanted to do some digging; To talk to these kids and get some honest answers. I work in a major college town with a large number of 20-somethings. Nearly all of them were raised in very typical evangelical churches. Nearly all of them have left the church with no intention of returning. I spend a lot of time with them and it takes very little to get them to vent, and I’m happy to listen. So, after lots of hours spent in coffee shops and after buying a few lunches, here are the most common thoughts taken from dozens of…

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I’m going to…a porn convention? Yup, that is true.

On By MJIn Awareness, Thoughts3 Comments

For anyone who knows me even a little has probably heard share my heart regarding the sex industry. In case you haven’t heard my thoughts, it is really quite simple: God loves strippers, prostitutes, pimps, porn stars, “Johns”, clients, escorts, and all other adult entertainers or producers [including those in the sex industry to whatever degree by force (i.e. sex trafficking victims)]. Simply put, God loves everyone. The problem is that the Church, collectively, has done a pretty terrible job of showing those in the sex industry not only that God does indeed love them, but the Church has failed at showing that love. We have been lousy examples of a love that has no barriers. We have not loved unconditionally.

How many churches or Christians for that matter would have a heart attack if a stripper or promiscuous woman, scandalously dressed, came walking into their Sunday service? Of course the Christian response is “love the sinner” so in the event of said stripper/promiscuous woman walking into the church, someone awkwardly approaches the woman…maybe, to welcome them to church but then at some point make the appearance of the woman not only feel shamed, but embarrassed, outcasted, and uncomfortable. Other women in the church fear for the eyes of the husbands while gossiping lightly in worry [and of course not condemnation because we never do that], meanwhile the stripper/promiscuous woman, probably still nameless to everyone else, is questioning and even regretting her decision to try out God. Sadly this tale is not a false one nor is it uncommon. The problem is that so many women of the industry are labeled as harlots and whores that when they step foot into a Christian setting it becomes a new world probably unknown to them that they believe there is no reason God could love them.

jesuslovespornstars

You see…Jesus really does love porn stars, strippers, prostitutes, porn producers, et cetera. He loves people. It is his whole purpose of living perfect and dying brutally. It is especially his whole purpose in coming back to life- resurrecting. You see in Jesus’ life he showed a deep love for all people from all backgrounds. I’m sure the disciples were uncomfortable, awkward, and unsure about many of the people and places Jesus took them. However, it was the love of Jesus that drove them to go to the uncomfortable, awkward, and unsure places for people. It was even the love of Jesus that had them risk their reputations for those that needed Jesus’ love. So then, Church, why have we missed this step? Why have we fallen short of loving those of the sex industry? We have groups and ministries for alcoholics, former addicts, divorce, eating disorders, single moms, single dads, marriage, young adults, senior citizens, children, youth, young families, yet we fail so miserably on showing love to the sexually broken. Honestly, I think we fail so much at this area the most because it is also the most intimate and intimidating. Sexuality is at the core of the human creation. For so long the fractured existence of Man has been corrupted through our sexuality through all sorts of perversions. We are trying to fix ourselves, our brokenness, our longing, our loss. As Christians we can understand that Jesus loves us yet it is do difficult to deal with the our fractured sexuality. It makes people uncomfortable.

We need to fix this Church. We need to reconcile the difference between loving the sinner and hating the sin and realizing that loving Jesus means loving everyone, as you and I are even sinners, and knowing that sin is part of our human nature and existence. Love – only His love and holiness- can bring forth change, redemption, restoration, and healing, but it requires getting out of our comfort zones, embracing the awkward, and not quitting until we know that we have tried to love everyone, without shame or fear of condemnation…just true Love.

xxxchurch2

XXXChurch is exactly what that image says… the #1 Christian Porn Site. But it is not porn. In fact they branched out as part of the Church and decided to reach the very group of people that the large majority of the Church has neglected or forgotten about. They created their ministry to bring accountability and restoration the porn addict, however the ministry has evolved to creating internet accountability programs, online devotionals/blogs, books being published, strip clubs and prostitution outreaches, Bible distribution, and porn convention outreaches. That is where I come in personally. The link below is to my site through Fireproof Ministries and XXXChurch. In just over two months I am going, with a XXXChurch team, to Atlantic City, NJ [not that far away] to the national porn convention. Hello Atlantic City Exxxotica. We will be giving out Bibles mainly. But in these next two months I ask you to partner with me. Yes, I would LOVE your financial partnership to help me reach my funds goal. However, I would love more your prayers. God has called me to go to this convention to simply show his love to those that the Church has most often forgotten. Whether I get the opportunity to pray with someone or share my testimony or just give them a Bible, prayers are much appreciated. As a Church, this is our duty to love everyone unconditionally, no “buts”, no excuses…just love and let His Love work on their hearts. Help me do so. Consider supporting me, whether financially or prayerfully. Beyond supporting me on this trip, see what God can do through you for others. Whether its getting involved with XXXChurch, starting a ministry, or just being a good employee, boss, husband, wife, et cetera, but see what God can do through you that you have been called… its your chance to make a difference. It may make you uncomfortable, awkward, or intimidate you but if God has shown His love, pay that forward and live a life that reveals His deep love in you. It is restorative, healing, and beautiful.

https://www.myxxxchurch.com/campaigns/view/AC-exxxotica-2013.html

Pneumonia and the blessing it has been.

On By MJIn ThoughtsLeave a comment

I’m not gonna lie, but some of this is somewhat embarrassing to share with you [whoever you are]. As anyone who reads my blog might know, last year I was training hard physically for a Tough Mudder, to which I completed at the end of October. I was in great shape and knew I had pushed myself harder than ever in my life. However, immediately following the Mudder, I found out I had pneumonia. For anyone that has never had it, it is not something I would ever wish upon anyone. It isn’t that you feel so horrible. The problem is that you feel like you have a never ending cold, slight headache and are ALWAYS out of energy. Oh and not to mention, a constant feeling of somewhat drowning. So for the last week of October and whole month of November I was at my worst with this wretched sickness. Drugged with 3 different anti-biotics, including a super intense cough medicine with codeine, I was slowly recovering from my illness. In the beginning of December, I had been given an opportunity to go to Haiti and see what Convoy of Hope does there post-earthquake recovery. Though I was just getting over my sickness, I felt there was nothing short of being in the hospital that would keep me from that trip. So I went…

One thing for sure is that I am a very impatient person. I was so [ironically] restless waiting to recover. Having worked out so much and gotten used to running 4 miles or more, I was so ready to get back into the gym. However, my body fought me and won…it was simply not ready to return to the gym. Of course, I learned it the hard way attempting to workout the middle two weeks in December. As Christmas came along, I was starting to feel closer to 100%.  But as the week moved past Christmas, my body simply had exhausted itself. Between the remnant of the pneumonia, traveling to Haiti then to Kentucky for Christmas, and over working my body for those two weeks, my body crashed…again, and bad. It was as if I was back in that last week of October at my worst. My coughing attack returned. My lungs felt like they were slowly filling with fluid. My body was weak. And bonus… a migraine came in full force. My new year started off with, through a series of events, being unable to fly to Israel as planned to photograph a friend’s wedding and being stranded in Kentucky with my sister and her husband [don’t get me wrong- I loved getting to see them]…and the cherry on top of it all was the return of all the symptoms of pneumonia. The funny and ironic thing is that had I made it on the flight to Israel, I would have been very sick for my friend’s wedding and probably have just wasted my time there. God knew I guess. Returning back to Jersey, I figured I would give myself a week or so to fully recover and try working out again. I came dangerously close to staying sick. It seemed like I couldn’t shake the cough, headache, sinus pressure or the weakness.

So now here I am…exposing myself to some mild embarrassment [don’t worry…I’ll get over it]. In these months of struggling to regain my health paired with the holidays… I find myself frustrated and mildly angry at my current state. I have gained what looks like [at least in my head] 20 pounds, yet feels like 50 [definitely not an accurate number]. I find my clothes not fitting right. Beyond all of that, I find myself upset that for a year, I trained for the Mudder and pushed myself. I was in great shape and now… just a few months since and you can’t even tell. I don’t feel like I’m in shape, though I know I am still relatively okay. As I just said, I have gained weight, around 10-12 pounds- and I notice more than anyone -as most people probably do with their own flaws… we are our own worst critics. Knowing that this year I want to do the Tri-State Tough Mudder again and train for a 10k or half-marathon, as well as regular 5ks, etc. my health is something that just needs to improve.

It is so discouraging looking at pictures of myself right before my Mudder and a picture from a week ago… I feel defeated. Last year was a year I devoted to being diligent and disciplined to fitness only to end the year [and start this year] worse than I began it.

But I hear a still, soft voice. A whisper.

God knows my heart. He knows the discipline, the sweat, the literal tears, the literal blood, the bruises, the pain, the energy I put into last year as a whole. He knows that in my weakness, only He can make me strong. He’s been speaking to me so much lately about that idea- letting him build me up, and work in my life, especially through the things I have no control over. It means being disciplined at times in silence and rest. It means learning patience. I will return to my workouts, this time, slowly bringing myself back up to speed. But during this time I cannot forget that rest is crucial. A sabbath every once in a while, at minimum to just simply relax and to rest in Him.

My only encouragement to you, the reader, is to just rest. You may be going through difficulty right now. You may be sick. You may just be in a weird place emotionally, spiritually, whatever. Try to rest in God and let him just renew you- your mind, your strength, your spirit. Maybe healing from heartbreak, loss of a loved one, busy job, or something else. He can be that healing- he is that healing. He is that renewal. I know that these past 3 months have been frustrating being sick, gaining way, and not necessarily feeling beautiful all the time- yet I know God is my God and he is for me. But he also longs for me. With being sick, I have spent a lot of time just reading my Bible, praying, or just talking to him. I have learned what it looks like and feels like for me to just rest in Him. A peace. I will maintain that peace and that rest while slowly but surely continuing in the discipline to workout, but I know that in all of that, He is my strength. My everything. My all.