Its strange. I am home, in America. Yet I am not the same as when I left. I am new. Returning home from Israel, I have not been able to make a proper analysis of my experience. I try to sit and understand the past five weeks. I try to fathom everything, yet I find myself at a loss. I have come from the most intense emotional, spiritual and physical experience of my life. America. This land that I live in now seems less glorious. Pride. Arrogance. English signs and speaking. TV. Media. Commercials. Radio.

The church- a structure that was established by man- so often takes perspective from Israel and the Jews to replace it with Christians. Replacement theology. The Bible- the scriptures- were not written so different sects of Christianity could interpret it to fit their mold of faith. The scriptures were written as accounts to the glory of God and his promise regarding Israel and the Jews. Yes I am a Christian. Yes I love Christ. But experiencing the church, now, after experiencing Israel, is somewhat draining. Not draining because it is wrong but rather because the attitudes of so many lack an awe of God and a love for Israel. It is so hard to try to explain to people at church what my experience was like. I can’t fully explain it because they will not fully grasp it.

With all of this I have come to this conclusion: I am in culture shock…in America. So much is different. So much is off base. So much is not where I feel it should be. Yet so much is just not Israel. My heart has been changed. I have been made new. Israel is where my restoration happened. Jerusalem is where I met God. It is not America that is the issue nor is it my church. Yes there are things that I feel should be different, however, I am new and not numb. Returning home will take to adjust and settle. But I will not forget. I cannot forget. Israel was the end of my beginning. So as I drive around New Jersey, as I sit in my church, as I lay on my diving board gazing at the stars, I will remember. Those moments that shaped me- I will remember. That country that changed me, I will remember. God that met me- I will remember.