restless.

i hate insomnia. i hate having thoughts penetrate deep within which inhibit me from falling asleep. i cannot even rest. i am weary. i am tired. frankly, i am exhausted from the day. i just wish i could sleep. instead, my heart and mind refuse to slow down. pondering the future, and all of the questions within the caverns of my mind, sleep must wait. though it is nearing 2 am, my exhaustion brings no resolution to the table. i simply, cannot rest. i wonder what is to come. what is going on in my life. i am confused. i am concerned. i am burnt out. i am empty. i am bare. striped of everything, at this moment, i find myself bare, completely in a place where i have nothing…nothing but faith. this faith is all have to hold onto. it is the only constant. i wish i knew the answers to my questions. i wish i knew what was going on. i wish i could foresee everything and make appropriate adjustments. but i cannot. i have nothing. so i cling, ever so tightly, to the one thing i know to be true. yes i am weary and empty and- bluntly- lost. my heart is restless. my mind is restless. everything within me is restless. but i grip this hope in the midst of this unknown.

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