Holidays, especially Thanksgiving and Christmas, bring about a lot of thoughts for me. Aside from my sister and parents, I have never lived near family or really celebrated anything with them. I am not even close with my family. I don’t remember the last time I really spent time with most of my cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. Even for my sister’s wedding, only a few relatives came. I just am not close with my family. We don’t even have tradition on holidays. I don’t get the option to spend these days with really any relatives.
Honestly, I feel like I’ve missed out on something. For my almost 23 years, I have never had much tradition with my family for anything. There is one constant for me for the holidays. Every year, no matter what, I make these specific Thanksgiving cookies from scratch. They take hours, so the best way I find to make them is while watching the Macy’s Day Parade. That is the only real tradition I have. Of course there are a few things my family will do around the holidays, but nothing else is this constant. I long for the day where I can establish tradition with my husband. Starting something new. Adding to his family’s tradition. Honestly, I ache for a family I can be close with. I’d love to marry into a large family. But it doesn’t really matter. I just want the idea of closeness. It isn’t even just about holidays, but its days like Thanksgiving that remind me of what I’ve never had. To visit the in laws, go to a cousin’s birthday party, have family vacations, and to actually argue over who gets to have Thanksgiving at their house this year. I am jealous of people that get that opportunity- something I have never had. For me, I simply will carry my one tradition of just cookies. For now, that is what I have. Don’t get me wrong, I love making the cookies and sharing Thanksgiving with a few families from my church. Those people mean the world to me. But I still feel like something is missing, and that is tradition.