Everything within me is aching either to sleep or to be fully awake. But I feel recently I been in this weird state. I have so many dreams, so many things I want. Like a sleepwalker, there is movement and action while still in slumber. To wake is sometimes dangerous. When someone is awake they are fully aware of everything. They understand. They know. They are intentional.

But I, I am neither. I feel that I have been in the crazy state of sleepwalking awake. Its like my dreams are in my head and heart alone, but my actions are like a sleepwalker. Nothing. The darkness of the midnight surrounds me and all I do is bump into walls. But the catch is that I am fully aware…a sleepwalker awake but with no seeming ability to change the circumstance.

I do not have an answer or some enlightenment on this. This is just how I feel. I cannot even describe it without sounding crazy. I just have no idea how to respond or act.