Slow motion.

Just late night reflections…

I have been really contemplative lately. I analyze everything. Thinking deeply and intently on everything is all I seem to know as of late. I have been trying so hard to be focused on everything in the here and now but I cannot help but think futuristically. My life is move forward in slow motion, yet it is passing me by so fast. This past weekend I saw yet another wedding of friends. These were friends that got me through college. People I did life with for the past five years. Now they are moving forward in their lives. Though that is just one instance of life as it seems in fast forward, I see other areas of my life that seem to be at an almost standstill. I kind of laugh at the thought of my life being in slow motion. It is not on pause. There is quite a difference between the two.  This year has been a journey for me that began with my life being in a season of waiting. I have been learning so much about who I am and where God is taking me. For a while, it was simply waiting for God’s direction. Now it is about obedience to that will. God has placed me where I am for a reason, to which I am still trying to understand. All the struggle, the pain, the frustration is not in vain.

To have a moment of utter honesty, I am single. I am single by choice. I realized tonight that it has been 3 years since I have been on a real date. With one brief talking period with a guy, I have been single for these past three years. But for the past 4 months, I have been trying my hardest to be obedient to something that, I believe, God has called me to do. Be single. Not entertaining thoughts of even dating any guy. To be very intentional on not even spending time with guys alone [in any capacity to my ability]. I never thought this would be hard considering most of my life has been lost in single hood. But this, this is different. God is calling me to not only focus on him, but to fall in love with a man who still remains a stranger, my husband. The reason I bring up this example is that I realized tonight, that at the end of this dating sabbatical, God will bring blessing. There will be fruit. It seems  like my life in this area, especially, is in slow motion. There is movement, I just cannot see it quite yet. The same can go for those other areas of my life. As long as I am obedient with what God has placed before me now, later God can and will bring blessing. It is a promise. I have to be patient in this obedience. Slow motion is still forward motion…it just takes more patience to get to where the story ends.

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