I looked at my blog today, as I have done many times before attempting to write something, yet finding no words. The date of my last post was over a month ago, one of the longest gaps in between writings. Its a strange thing- I used to write all the time, weekly at minimum. Now I find that I cannot find the words to describe anything in my life. So much has been happening yet it feels as though I am at a standstill. At least that’s how it looks at a glance. I moved into my own apartment, got a second job at a school, planning a trip to Kenya, finishing my thesis which will be published as a book, and still working my main job at my church. I feel busy yet lazy at the same time.  Sometimes I feel inspired and like I am really working hard. Other times I feel like I am stuck and burnout. I don’t really know how else to explain it.  Overall this is how I can best describe all of this: I know God is doing a lot in my life in so many ways, yet I know I am not doing my very best with these opportunities and I know I will not reach my potential unless I learn to manage all of this better and seek God continually in this process. I cannot neglect my relationship with God at the sake of doing things nor can I do things without seeking God and inviting him along. To do one without the other is not good because it means that I either am neglecting God or I am being disobedient to God’s direction. I need balance. Honestly…I just need God. More of him in my life. More rest…. real rest. Time in His presence and the Word. If this is you at all, I would just encourage you to do exactly what I am challenging myself to do… spend time with God- in the Bible, in prayer, in just being, in fellowship, in obedience, and even in rest.

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