Before we throw stones

It seems like America is unsure of what it cares about. It seems we are at a loss and wandering around trying to figure this all out. Recently we were split on our opinion on the gorilla zoo incident. For a moment we were all enraged, either at the zoo or the parents. Just this week another incident happened where a child was taken by an alligator into the lake the child was playing now. Again, a debate of what the parents should have done differently yet weirdly enough there was no outcry for the 4 gators killed in the attempt to find the one that took the child. I guess animals don’t matter as much if they’re not in a zoo…not really part of my discussion here but still something to think about.  My point is that we as a nation are constantly finding things to argue and disagree about yet painfully ignore bigger and more threatening issues. By no means do I want to belittle the incidents of these two children or the lives of the animals. By no means do I want to dismiss other things. What I do want for us to realize is that our nation is walking on some dangerous  grounds when we see incidents like this and decide to sling judgment, hate, even just an opinion that happens to be the loudest voice. What we have created is a culture that wants to please everyone, offend no one and pretend to think that that’s actually a viable option. All of this got me thinking even more with a recent event in the news. I was already aware of some of the situation and case. But suddenly everyone figured out because, of course, it went viral on the Internet and specifically on social media like Facebook.

It seems, enraged again, we as a nationa got caught in what looked like a unified anger at “the system”.  A rapist was given only 6 months of a sentence that usually gets a decade or more.  But before we continue, lets first discuss the facts. Let’s get on the same page then see where we are at.

A rapist, named Brock Turner, was caught in the act of sexually assaulting an unconscious woman behind a dumpster. He was caught by 2 grads students and then physically held until the authorities arrived. Even with the victims statement and the statement of the two witnesses, along with the conviction decided by a jury, he was given 3 felonies that would send him to 10-14 years in prison, the judge chose to listen to the father of the rapist. He described his son as a good boy, great athlete and shouldn’t be punished for “20 minutes of action”. The judge chose the lesser sentence…in fact among the smallest sentence ever for a rapist convicted of 3 felonies. When the court cases as revealed, the nation seemed to go nuts online. Everyone was posting articles and statements and videos of the case. Mug shots and statements of death and hatred were slung. I had so many friends posting hat he should be given the death penalty, that he’ll become someone’s sex toy in prison and learn what it feels like to be brutally assaulted and sodomized. I had so many friends say so many things.
But there’s more.
We can probably almost all agree that Brock Turner and other rapists deserve prison time and proper justice. We would probably all agree that the crime was heinous. We would probably all say rape is bad. Let’s check ourselves, though,and see if we truly can say we live in opposition to the rape culture we are seemingly surrounded by, the very rape culture that gave this judge the ability to give such a light sentence.

We have become so quick in our culture to sling stones of judgment and hate and criticism yet are we really in a place to do so? I mean….are we really?

When the incident of both the gorilla/ zoo  and the gator/kid took place, everyone was suddenly the world’s best parents and said that they could never possibly make such a mistake. Of course I have opinions and would hope I could never have such a thing happen to my child. But last I checked I’m neither a parent nor perfect. Those parents will never forget what happened. So stop beating them up and love your kids as best as you can.

When the Brock Turner case became public, everyone suddenly was an attorney, counselor, executioner or tough guy. What bothered me about this case specifically was that everyone agrees rape is wrong but not everyone is living in a way to terminate the rape culture. If we truly cared about it at our core we wouldn’t allow for the other elements of the rape culture to continue. Need some examples?

  • Movies or shows that glamorize rape
  • Jokes about rape
  • Objectification of men and women through things like the adult industry, sexualized ads, etc.
  • Victim blaming
  • Slut shaming
  • Saying “boys will be boys”

You see, unless your life reflects the true desire and behaviors that align with wanting the end of the rape culture, then you are in no place to throw stones to Brock Turner, his parents, or the judge. I don’t say this to at all state that this case or others aren’t important. In fact, I believe that they are so important that we need to have more conversations about this. I can tell you one thing: I am absolutely fed up with the hypocrisy in our country, and even the Church, when it comes to the rape culture. If we really cared about stopping rape, stopping assault, ending the attitude, removing excuses, then we need to truly make some changes. When we glamorize rape in TV shows or movies, when we have advertisements and commercials that objectify and even subtly show domineering behavior, assault, or abuse, when we have campus rapes that aren’t being reported because schools “deal with them from within”, when we have fraternities where guys treat sex like an amusement park but sororities that do the same are deemed sluts, when we have such a large sex industry which is heavily connected to trafficking, when the Church talks about sex only as negatives avoiding the beauty of God’s design, and when we have magazines and media that create a pop culture that continually treats sex like pure recreation or experimentation, can we really say we are surprised and truly angry when a rapist is only given a six month sentence?

My point is not that complex. Opinions matter. Your voice matters. But more than anything Truth matters. And sometimes what really needs to happen is conviction and humility need to knock us on our knees and show us where we are wrong instead of casting stones at other’s mistakes or insufficiencies.

Thankfully, each day, I try to take on the challenges, mistakes, failures, good, bad and everything in between with the perspective of Jesus working in me showing me his love and life and redemption before me.

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