Its amazing how quick life can change. How one moment can literally change the direction intended.
I’ve been pretty silent on social media altogether lately for the sake of my new job. I have chosen the route of speaking less and sharing less as to not put myself in a place that could even slightly or possibly compromise my job. The last several months have been some of the most refreshing and equally challenging months of my life. I have had to trust in faith more than ever before. So that’s where I’ll begin instead of with the moment that could have changed it all this week.
Back in March, I began the quiet process of hopefully becoming a cop. After the long process of deep background investigation, interviews, a PT test, a physical exam, a psych eval, and more, I was given an offer of employment. The biggest thing about it was that, for one of the first times in my life, I knew God was leading my steps. He was making it happen and I didn’t need to force things to happen or make my way. He was opening the door. Like I said, this season of my life has been one that my faith has grown so much because I have seen what God can do for me. I know God has plans for my life, and this has been a curveball for sure, but one I haven’t even come close to regretting.
The past six weeks I have been in training, most of which at the academy. I had no idea what to expect getting into this profession and how to prepare myself. But I knew that I wanted this, to do well, to push through and to be the best I could be. Above all I wanted to honor God in this job and the training to get me there. He had made a way for me to get this far so I wanted to trust him with the process, including the training and academics. Honestly, all of the training so far has brought a mix of emotion- exciting and exhausting, challenging and shaping- and in the midst of all of it, I have had a peace that I believe can only come from God. Whatever happens, He’s got my six.
This week, everything could have changed. This story for me could have looked very different. During this week, the cadets all had a qualification needed to pass in order to continue. For me, I was one second away from potentially not passing (largely because I had a 10 second penalty for a stupid mistake). One second. Its amazing how one second later and I could have packed all my things and needed to figure out the next step for me outside the academy. I have had humbling moments before in my life but this one takes me toward the top. This one is among those moments I won’t forget because it was an almost game-changer for me. I won’t forget it because I had to see other peers and friends of mine leave the academy for good. I won’t forget it because this one moment reminds that God still has chosen to help me to stay there. He isn’t done with me there yet. He still has me in this place that I am convinced he called me to.
Until God sees me to completion or moves me onto something else, I want to be faithful and disciplined with where he has placed me. That was the reminder I kept telling myself all week prior to my qualification. It gave me a weird peace. Of course I will still a little nervous, but I had peace still. This whole adventure and journey so far has brought me to a place of faith I have never been. Its brought me to a place of trust in God-that if the God who created everything, who has chosen to love me, who has chosen to direct my life and to lead me is with me all the time, why not trust him with everything? He knows what he is doing and I don’t need to worry. That moment, hearing my score, and seeing how close I was to a different direction, will remain a moment that I am humbled and thankful.
Whatever may be going on in your life, whatever struggle, difficulty, uncertainty that you face, I just want to challenge you with one thing: trust God. You may be a person of faith or you may not be. But I know I have seen God work in ways I can’t fathom. I know that without him, my life would look very different and I wouldn’t be where I am now. God loves you and cares for you more than you know. You matter to him. You are loved by him. And he is not done with you. Step out in trust and faith.