[Service two of “End of the World as we know it” camp 2012- speaker Garland Owensby/my thoughts]

You see… the world likes us to believe that there is nothing special within is. Every advertisement tries to convince us that we have to lose weight, buy those clothes, use that product, use this supplement, and blah blah blah. That’s how I feel by the average advertisement I see or hear…blah. We constantly have to “improve” ourselves in order to be “good enough”, “skinny enough”, “hot enough”, desirable enough”, or whatever other crap- yes I said crap- our culture tells us to be. But you see, there is so much more than this culture. There is God. God created this world we live in, however perverted and different it has become from its original creation. 

Look at Psalm 139 [sections]:

O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it!

For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

David, the writer of this Psalm, knew that he was not accident, not just a person to live on this earth and die with no purpose at all. He knew, from his years of intense mistakes, the grace of God upon his life. He knew how much God’s love was for him, because without God’s love, things would have been vastly different. David understand that God intensely loved him. 

God intensely loves you! You are not an accident. He created you with purpose. In order to understand that you have purpose for your life, understand this…God is crazy about you. He is excited seeing you live out your life…or at least that’s his desire. He is our God, our Father, and he deeply wants to lead us in a way that is good for us, because it honors him. So when we live out lives in selfishness and in disregard to your life as his Creation, it saddens him deeply. We are “fearfully and wonderfully made” which means we were made in great awe, in deep love, for incredible purpose. When we begin to believe in the words of the Father instead of the words of the world, we begin to look at ourselves through a completely different lens. 

Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there is any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!

When we see ourselves the way God created us- a beautiful creations a part of his whole plan and purpose- we can reject the world within us. We can end its domain on our lives and not listen to the lies, the deceit, or the pain. We also need to reject the part of the world that we have allowed within us- sin. Whatever sin [things that draw you farther from God, not closer, and things that go in direct opposition to his Word], we need to remove and repent of. God is a gracious God who gives us strength to overcome anything. He gives us the ability to live the amazing adventurous lives that I believe he has created us for. 

Not exactly what you think, just to preface this. This, my friends, is the theme of camp. 

This year, the NJ Assemblies of God camp for senior [speaker Garland Owensby] and junior high [speaker “Chubbs”] was themed as “ITS THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT”. Honestly, I don’t think we could have had a better theme. In light of the Mayan calendar prediction of the end of the world coming this December, people more and more are thinking about their own lives, pursuing their dreams, or doing everything they always wanted to. A small majority of people actually believe the end of the world will happen as the Mayan’s predicted 1500 years ago. The vast majority of people will continue to live exactly as they are… and that is the point. Though we [Christians] know that at some point life will no longer exist as we know now. But also, as Christians, believe that there is something foundational in our decision to follow Christ. Camp this year was themed around this concept: ending the desires of the world and self within oneself, and allowing for God to work. 

 

So I begin with these thoughts and notes from service one with Garland’s message and my thoughts:

1 John 2:15-17 can be summed up with this: 1) Lust of the flesh 2) Lust of the eyes and 3) Pride of life. 

What do you love…really?
“I don’t want Jesus to end up in a box…to end up as a fad.”

Don’t fall in love with things! You weren’t designed to be just a consumer. Your design is not for things because loving things will always disappoint. I mean really- who doesn’t get upset if someone messes with their stuff? But the reality is that we get so caught up and upset if someone touches or  messes with our stuff, yet it almost never fazes us if someone messes with God’s stuff.

You are MORE than the world’s [culture’s] cravings and desires in you or for you. The world wants us to be be attracted to things that don’t matter, things that ultimately have no value. Its not bad to have things, but its our attitude towards things, towards people, and towards the thing of God that matter. 

“The attractive things about America to outsides is the materialism, not the spirituality. [Eugene Peterson]” The sad thing is how true this statement is. America is a nation, known to the world, as one of extreme greed, selfishness, desire that is never satisfied, and one of a central focus on Number One, oneself. We are a nation that is so selfish yet we seem shocked that the American Dream is not what it used to be. The American Dream used to be something people had to strive after, work hard for, be disciplined for, but above all it was something for the betterment of America, your family, and yourself. Now, it is all about the self. Can it be that the American Dream is not the Jesus Dream? As Christians we need to sync ourselves with the eternal, lasting things- just like if you sync an iPod or something to a laptop. Sometimes we don’t get mad about the things that makes Jesus mad. Yes, he does get mad. He does not like his children, the people he died for, to turn their back on his Word- like justice, holiness, purity, compassion, and the hurting. Sometimes we don’t get sad about the things that make Jesus. We need to  see people as God sees them, to love people the way God loves them, and to live the way God wants us to live- in a manner worthy of the love that was crucified. 

Lastly, don’t ignore the warning signs. Yes, back to the ancient worlds. You can believe or not that the world will end…whether in December or another era altogether. But realize this- your life will end one day. Don’t live a life thinking that at the end you will have a chance at God’s love. Jesus paid an eternal price for you- for me- that we can live a life of greatness, adventure, love, and beauty. That’s how he created us! But this world- culture- does not want to honor God. There are warning signs all around us of the absence of God within our world, not just American culture. It is our choice how we are going to live. Will you look at the things around you, God’s Word, and live for him in spite of the pressures of our world? Look at the story of the city of Pompeii. When Mt. Vesuvius erupted, it wasn’t a surprise for the city. There were plenty of warning signs that something terrible and disastrous was coming. There were tremors, thunderstorms, smoke…there was enough warning for every person within that city to escape to safety and continue to live a full life. About 20,000 people escaped the city leaving 2,000 people that refused- 2,000 people that chose to ignore the warnings of disaster. 2,000 people that were killed in a violent, painful way. That is exactly what Christ did for us…he died so we could have an escape plan from our selfishness, greed, sin…go back to 1 John 2:15-17. Don’t live your life pretending that disaster cannot touch you. Live your life believing that there is a purpose, that you were created for more than what you’re currently living for, that you could indeed have something bigger, and better ahead for you. 

I believe in life there are certain moments. Defining moments. Challenging moments. Ones that force you to look at your life, who you were and who you have become. Ones that demand a response. But above all, life has those moments that change your life forever. 

You have a choice to act on those moments or let them disappear. You have a choice to let them be a catalyst within the life you are currently living. Every moment matters. Though it may seem small, it most certainly matters. Though it may be a big moment, it will not be the only one, nor the last.

Seize the moments- the ones that shape you to becoming a better person. Seize those moments that bring out the very best in your, yet challenge you to be better. Seize those divine, God-inspired, beautiful moments that you know are just for you. God has uniquely created you to be someone of significance and of beauty. Your life is not one of dull moments, but of beautiful ones that will bring the greatest adventure that is your life, if you choose to have faith that every moments has a purpose. Every person you meet, every place you go, everything you do…matters because each of those moments, in some way, is part of your life’s purpose. 

I want to live my life in an on-going adventure because I know, with faith and obedience to God. With every job choice, decision to move, the man I decide to marry, and even in the small moments of times with friends or gazing at the sunset. Every moment may be fleeting but shapes a part of my life. At the end of my life, I want to know it was well-lived, embracing every moment, good and bad, easy and hard, because every single one is a part of that life to some extent. 

This past week has been quite crazy. On Sunday we started off with attending the local church on the compound. Afterward we assisted with a young program teaching kids scripture- these kids know how to memorize the Word! It was actually quite impressive. In the evening, we separated from the boys [Andrew and Peter] and spent several hours with the Standard 8 girls of the boarding house of the school on the compound- 8th grade dorm students. These girls were just so precious. They just finished learning about purity and how it affects their relationship with the Lord and others. It was incredible to talk to these girls even just in simple about modesty, behavior and dating. To Kenyans, dating is a no-no. You court and usually don’t begin that process until your 20s where with familial approval courting can begin. But with the culture that also struggles with trying to be progessive and different than tradition, girls are very confused on what it means to honor the Lord, maintain tradition, and yet still be able to live normal lives in the midst of confusion. All in all though, it was a great time with these precious girls who are so curious about life outside their bubble. They even performed a skit they prepared for us because they wanted to do something special for us the Mazungu [white person] visiters. Even in their skit there was an element of innocence, curiosity, and yet desire to serve the Lord.

Early morning on Monday we prepared to leave for the Bush in Northen Kenya about 3 hours north. The reality of any trips around the country is that you cannot really pay attention to the mileage because the roads will definitely incease the amount of time it takes to get anywhere. For us, we traveled north on a normal black top two lane road. As we traveled further North, the road began to disappear…literally. The paved road became a dirt and sand road full of holes and rocks making it nearly impossible to drive comfortably and definitely not faster than maybe 20 miles an hour. Any faster would surely break almost any car. At this point, driving on this particular road, we were surrounded by the Bush… desert land with some scarce vegetation, hill lands, and rocks. Upon arriving almost to the village, we stopped in the closest “civilized” town where we ate lunch and had tea. Every Kenyan will eat their meal then have HOT black tea. The “restuarant” we ate at would most certainly fail every inspection of American health code, but we really didn’t have much choice. The bathrooms consisted of a hole you squat over…nicknamed a squatty potty or in Swahili, the Cho. Definitely were not in Kansas in anymore. When we finished eating and had our last “real” bathroom to use, we embarked on the final stretch of the journey to our village. The following moments at the village seemed like something out of National Geographic and Discovery channel. The village was literally in the middle of nowhere yet surrounded with a glorious landscape of desert, bush, and mountains. We stayed with the villagers for a few hours where we were greeted by kids, some of which had never seen a white person before. We played with them and of course took their pictures. The elder of the village gave us a “tour” of their village. In summary, the village has huts made of sticks and mud, and animal hides, as well as anything else they could find to add to their shelter. The huts were also separated into men’s and women’s sides- the men have multiple wives, so each wife and her children had separate huts. In the middle of the village was the animal pin where during the night hours, their goats and sheep stay within their makeshift fence walls made of thorn bushes. There were no bathrooms. Most kids ran around naked or half naked, especially the boys. Women were wearing wrapped tops or even topless but wearing large and vibrantly colored necklaces of the tribe, the Rendili. The men- the elders- wore wrapped skirts that shoes their leadership, carrying around a large stick as one would see a shepherd. The elders even have their own part of the village to lay back and relax in a dry river bed under some acacia trees. It was their place of honor.

Later on in the afternoon, we left that village to go to a nearby village where we were invited guests to see part of a wedding of two tribes- the daughter from that village marrying a son from another. At the [second] village we got to experience the tribal dancing that takes place as part of the ceremony. With painted faces, bright colored skirts, and huge staffs, the men- the warriors- danced and chanted toward the women, dressed in bright dresses, wearing beaded masks, and brightly colored necklaces. It was quite beautiful and definitely something unique. Having been at the village for about 2 hours and still no bride, with the sun beginning to set, we knew we had to head back to the other village where we were presenting the Jesus Film in Swahili- perhaps the first and only movie most of the villagers would ever see- from that village and the surrounding ones, including the one with the wedding.

We arrived back to the main village of the Rendili to fight some of the elders in the field getting a goat. To our shock and yet intrigue we watched [as told to] them slaughter the young goat, drain its blood, and prepare it as our meal for dinner. This is not something people of this tribe, or most tribes, do. It is something of honor and of to not take part in this ritual would be highly offensive. We watched and tried to maintain a calm response to what we were witnessing. As the elders began to prepare the goat for us, and only us, we got the film ready to show the entire village plus people from surrounding villages. Many of these villlagers have never heard the gospel, some have heard it only a few times, and only a handle of the villagers were even Christians. Hearing the Gospel in their own language through movie was something that was incredible to experience. Though we are uncertain of how many people have accepted Christ because of that evening, I am convinced that in the desert bush of Northern Kenya, a movement of God’s love and spirit is coming forth. Under the stars of the evening, we closed out the movie, villagers either went home or to bed, as it was almost midnight and they arise early. We however, joined the elders at the fire where the goat was being prepared. We sat and ate cold goat’s meat and cold thick rice….with our hands. We attempted to eat as much as we could but were unable to finish the large amount of goat meat and rice so the elders gladly finished it for us. The thing to understand here is that this village literally sacrificed a goat from their herd to give to us even though their own people may not have eaten much or at all that day. It was a very humbling experience and something I cannot and will not forget. The next morning we arose to an early start and remained in the village through the morning. Sadly, we were unable to stay longer than the two days and one night, for various reasons. Luckily, the ministry here with Abby and Andrew includes planting a church on the site of the village – they will be returning very soon, along with a team to begin groundwork. Though we wish we could have stayed longer, we know God’s purpose for our ministry their was great and his work is not yet complete.

Later on we experienced what I believe was my second major National Geographic/Discovery Channel moment…a safari. Now I understand this is not ministry, but their is something magnificent to being out in the desert and the bush knowing all sorts of animals of various levels of danger were out there. During our safari we saw a leopard, giraffees, zebras, baboons, warthogs, gazelles, oryx, empallas, crocodiles, monkeys, dikdi, hyena, a lioness, and elephants. At one point we were semi-charged by a mother elephant, with a large herd surrounding us. An exhiliarting feeling paired with the possibility of “it could get much worse” and “let’s get out of here now”.

For the remainder of the week, Thursday, Friday and today [saturday], we have been working more locally with the minsitry of Abby and Andrew. We have worked with the school kids, dorm kids, and at the children’s homes. It has been way less exhaustive as the first portion of the trip, but fulfilling and exciting nonetheless. Tomorrow, Sunday, we will have another busy day ahead. We will be working with the church in the morning, youth program in the afternoon working on scriptures and Bible lessons, then in the evening partly at a ladies bible study for local women and then with the boarders/dorm students. Monday will be our final day in Nanyuki so it will be a day of rest, shopping and some touring. Tuesday morning we leave early for the long drive back to Nairobi. The trip has been incredible, life-changing, and even life-provoking. I want to live my life, wherever God calls me and leads me, with a passionate heart, obedient living, and in deep love for his people.

For the past 10 or 12 years, I have deeply desired to go to Africa to do missions work and humanitarian aid. Since I was kid I always wanted to go, but it wasn’t until I was a teenager that I thought it was possible. I can’t describe it, but I am overwhelmed with this joy and peace and just excitement… in two weeks I will be arriving to Nairobi to stay for two weeks and work with two of my friends that are missionaries there. I will be posting more about it as it comes up. I just wanted to share today how excited I am to go! Never be afraid to go after your dreams even if it seems hard, exhausting or impossible. If you want the dream, go after it. 

This week I learned something incredibly beautiful. A lady at my church lost her husband this week. She is such a precious elderly lady and my heart was so sad for her. Sitting at her kitchen table, Mrs. Ruth told stories of her and her husband. She told me how she met him. She told me stories of their marriage. Though I was sad that she lost her beloved husband of 60+ years, I was so happy for her. She and Jack got to experience something that so few people will ever get the privilege. In our world today marriage is an ideal that a lot of people do not think long term. Let me first say this before I continue forward: this is not a rant or a judgment on marriages that did not work out. But this is a celebration of one that lasted 60 years til death do us part. Jack and Ruth are such a beautiful example of a love that endured through hardship, struggle, pain, frustration, and loss. From the time they met, they knew that their lives would compliment each others, that they could not continue on living without the other, and that God had allowed for them the opportunity to honor Him in their marriage. They are such an example to our world, as I already said. Their love- their marriage- was founded on God and His love, grace, mercy, compassion, and so many other foundational characteristics of Him. I am certain that they faced struggle and hardship- that times were not always great. But I am also certain of this: they would not have lasted 60 years without the goodness of God in their lives. He was their center, always.

I am so inspired by Mrs. Ruth and her marriage to Jack. Even though he is now gone, her love for him still thrives. Her heart might be wounded, but I am convinced that her love for him and God endures strongly. I am inspired by the strength [from God] that was central in their marriage. I am inspired by the fact that in his last moments, Jack said that he loved God and loved Ruth more than anything. That is a love that I believe few people get to experience.

Maybe it is because we do not take it seriously. I do believe for some today, that marriage is not a covenant but something to do and if it does not work out you can quit and move on. I do believe for others that it is something the couple genuinely pursues only without God as their center, things begin to fall apart. Marriage today is not taken as seriously as I think it should be. It is sacred and beautiful and something to incredibly unique because it allows for us to honor God in an intimate, Christ centered, love filled, grace giving, compassionate marriage that reflects His love for us. That is what marriage is supposed be- a way to worship God with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength [Deut 6:4-5].  I know some people reading this might be hurt from a divorce, affair, or just a marriage that lasted, but was not sacred or close to beautiful. Our world today is not perfect so we cannot expect that every marriage exemplifies the beauty of God. But I do believe, in rarity, there are those marriages you see that are so beautiful and radiant because their beauty is from the very heart of God. Whatever your story is or whatever your martial status may be, know this: God deeply loves you. He deeply loves his people. When we enter into marriage it is not only and intimate relationship with your spouse, it is an intimate relationship with God. If is at your core, your center, your everything, anything is possible. He is a God of healing, restoration, comfort, peace, love, compassion, strength, grace, and above all a beauty that can turn any situation into one that can last through the storm or trial. A vow and a covenant of marriage is a chance for us to serve God in a beautiful way. I got to see that from Mrs. Ruth and her stories of Jack.

I have been thinking a lot about forgiveness and reconciliation. I believe without any doubt in my mind that we were created to love and be loved with the deep, true love of Jesus. But when we get burned, hurt, or mistreated, we often do not want to act out in love toward the offender. 

Today I had the opportunity to act in love toward someone who mistreated me greatly. On my way home from the gym, I saw a friend, or former friend [not too sure what we are] walking. Knowing full well that he would be walking home and remembering full well how bad this person hurt me just a few months earlier, I chose to drive past them. I was mad and still hurt. On my way home, my heart sank and I knew that in no way had I acted in love. You see, the love of Jesus is not just about loving those who like us or treat us well. A huge part of the love of Jesus is to love those who do not care about you at all, those that mistreat you, or those that have cut so deeply to your soul that you nearly [or already have] write them off. 

Today was my day to decide what I was going to do. I intentionally drove past this person to avoid talking to them as to this day I have yet to receive an apology. But as I said, on my way home, my heart sank and I knew I was not loving that person and therefor not really loving God with my whole heart. I pulled into a parking lot and sat for a minute deciding whether to keep driving or turn around. I knew what was right but also knew what I wanted to do. Instead of following my pride- and hurt- I turned my car around, found this person, and drove them home. I thought surely if I show them love, the situation will get better and he won’t mistreat me again. The ride home seemed fine [by the way… “fine” is not a feeling or a description of a situation]. But there was the obvious elephant in the room of what happened between this person and I. Before we got to his house I told him how I felt. The conversation seemed to start off well and progress toward reconciliation only to find it completely plummet and I get hurt once again. 

My point in telling you this story of my own personal frustration and struggle- and hurt- is that we all have a choice. We each have the same opportunity to love those who love us in return. We all have the same choice to love those who have hurt us deeply, cut us at our soul, offended us in some way, or done something else seemingly unforgivable. Whether you are a Christian or not, I challenge you to forgive those who have hurt you regardless of the offense. Unforgiveness is a poison for you and not the one it is directed toward. But I also challenge you to seek reconciliation- restoration for the broken relationship or friendship. Do what you can. It may work out. It may not. I can tell you from today that as inconvenient as it was to turn around to help this person, it mattered. As frustrating as it was to repeat the same hurt that happened just a few months ago, I tried. I definitely do not like the outcome or how this person, yet again, treated me, but I do believe that I did what I could. 

Act in love…true Christly love. Always. No excuses. Regardless of how the person responds or the outcome of your behavior, it matters to your relationship to God. He forgave you and gives you a second [and third and fourth, etc.] chance. Don’t write people off. They may write you off, but do your best and honor God in your life, always. 

Its the risk,
GOD,
my faith is willing to take. 

This is my anthem- what  I believe more than anything. And more than ever. I try to say this as humbly as possible… I was not made  the common. Mundane. Ordinary. In fact I feel suffocated by it. Because of that, I try to live my everyday with some bit of adventure, excitement, finding the unordinary, uncommon, different in even the simplest of ways. Right now, it is not so simple. I finally have an opportunity to go to Africa- a dream 15 years in the making and only 27 days away from coming true.

If I could today, I move somewhere in the world and live among another people group, another language, another world… so I could take in all of the beauty of the differences, and see them the way my God sees them. Kenya will be just a two week adventure into this unknown world. A new language I have never experienced. A new level of poverty I have never seen. A completely different world. And yet…I have never been more excited or more ready for something like this. 

I know the risks that come with going to Africa. Having already spent a decent amount on vaccines for Tetanus, Typhoid, Malaria, and soon Yellow Fever, that alone would scare some people from embarking on a trip t o Africa. There are definite safety risks. To be honest, I am not even sure of what they all are. Frankly, I am not really nervous or scared of it- maybe my ignorance really is bliss right now. And of course, there is a financial strain. It definitely is a risk to give up almost all of my finances that don’t pay bills to send myself to Kenya. I’m not fundraising or sending support letters. I’m supporting myself with my money for this trip- I just felt like I needed to. I would not mind having people just willing to pay for my trip [and future ones]. But I felt like with this trip, I could not wait for other people to help me. God has allowed for me to have a job that can [barely] provide for my financial need on this. It is indeed a sacrifice, but one worth it. 

With all of this, I fully believe God has been preparing me for Kenya. Spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally I feel like I’m ready. Finally. The door was opened 9 months ago for me to pray about going and now I am because I believe it is where I am supposed to be. This is not just a two week short term missions trip. It is a trip to try the field. Could this be where I become a missionary? Is it a place I will return to and stay much longer? Honestly, I think the answer could be a loud resounding yes. Missions has always been heart. It is my nature, my heart beat, my passion. Maybe this will be the beginning of a transition to the field. Maybe it will be Kenya or somewhere else in Africa. Or maybe it will be another country elsewhere in the world. Regardless, this trip is a dream coming to fruition because I believe it is a huge part of what I am going to be doing with my life. 

All of the vaccines, all of the potential sicknesses, all of the potential dangers… I’m ready. I feel like my faith is ready for the risk to move forward in this dream of missions. It is on field that I become alive. It is around poverty I feel rich, not because I’m American but because I am a part of something that matters. It is around the sick or dying that I feel strong. Everything about this lifestyle- this calling- is everything I want.