I can’t even begin to express my feelings in something as short as this blog to explain how angry, sad, and broken I am for our culture today. We, America, have a long history of having the wrong opinion, wrong action, and poor judgment when it comes to rape and assault. We have allowed for generations to live and die without having something substantial to show for having action and justice for victims of rape. This needs to change. Now.
I have found myself at multiple times wanting to write something about this subject. But I usually find myself too upset or too angry to coherently write something capable of getting my thoughts across. But tonight, tonight I am here and ready to say something. We have created and endorsed a culture that glamorizes violent sex, rape, trafficking, prostitution, and assault. The very fact that we need to have this conversation shows how far we really are in this ugly pit.
Don’t believe me? Here are some examples…
- movies like 50 Shades of Gray– manipulative and exploitive relationship
- rape fantasy porn
- phrases like “I’ll rape you in this game”
- slut shaming (but boys will be boys…right?)
- making jokes about rape
- thinking its cool that celebrities like Jennifer Lawrence had her privacy betrayed so the world could “enjoy her” a bit
- when we allow and enjoy songs like “Blurred Lines” by Robin Thicke and endorse the thought that its okay to have blurry vision about consensual sex and possible rape
- victim blaming
I could honestly make a longer list but there’s the gist. We have collectively taken such a light stance on rape and assault that we don’t even realize the tragedy taking place in our society. Just today pop-star Kesha was denied in court her request to terminate her contract with Sony because she claims a producer assaulted her. I don’t know Kesha. I don’t know her alleged attacker. But what I do know is that her right to remove herself from a place that she finds unsafe was denied. She will be forced to work alongside the producer over and over. What I find most sad about her case is that, it being so public, will probably prevent so many victims of rape and assault from coming forward because the justice system has failed her, so why would it work for them?
Less than 2% of all rapes are reported with an even lower percentage for men reporting their assault. Women and girls are terrified of their attackers. Kids are petrified of their molesters. Boys and men feel humiliated because in society’s eyes they are less manly for having been assaulted, and even worse if their victimizer was a woman. Yes men can be raped by women too.
What it needs to come down to for us in our American culture is that we need to have a paradigm shift in our society. Enough is enough. Too many rapes happen. Too many victims stay silent. Too many victims lack justice being served. And too many rapists are set or kept free. We need to stop the jokes that make light of rape. We need to stop supporting porn (its all unhealthy) but especially rape fantasy porn. No more crying wolf because of regretful sex. We need to learn that consent is vital in a sexual relationship. If consent is not given on either party…then don’t have sex. No means no. Silence means no. Yes means yes. We need to stop glamorizing artists/music whose lyrics not only glamorize but endorse rape, assault, abuse, etc. Snoop Dog (Snoop Lion?), Nicki Minaj, Robin Thicke and many others but just to name a few. We need to realize that as much as we have embraced something like the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, we are also embracing the objectification of women. We need to stop it. Stop it all. We need to understand that even if someone has given sex before, it is also their right to refuse. We need to understand that regardless of what a woman or man, boy or girl, is wearing it does not mean it is the right for the taking. Enough with the victim blaming. Enough with the objectifying. Enough. ENOUGH. ENOUGH!
We need to be better than this. We are better than this because we were created for more than this. Do your part to better the world around you. Is this really the world we want our children to grow up in? Is this really a world you want to live in? No. Speak up. Act. Do something. But don’t sit around and allow for this rape culture to continue. Not on your watch. Not on mine.