Before you ask, no, this is not another I hate Valentine’s Day blog. In no way do I hate it. Some people only complain about being single or not having “the one”.  Often I see people get so caught up in the tradition of the holiday rather than the supposed motive behind it…Love. Instead, Valentine’s Day is symbolic of something far greater. It celebtrates those that have found [what they think is] love and wish to enjoy it with someone special. It is a chance for them to invest in the other person, with time, money or anything else they can think of . Ultimately, it is a holiday focused on making your significant other feel special. However, if you have found that true person in your life that you feel you love, why make such a big deal out of Valentine’s Day when you could surprise with a random day during a random week in a random month. Love is not defined by a calendar day, but instead by words and actions. It is an ongoing verb.

Valentine’s Day can also be celebrated another way. It celebrates being single. People neglect the brighter side of things. Being single on this holiday or just altogether is not a death sentence. It is a chance to be happy with yourself- to know who you are and be okay with just that. It is an opportunity for self-discovery. It is about identity. For me, that means I am defined by God, not by men, especially in dating. Do not be jealous of couples that spend time together this time of year. Do not be bitter. It will destroy you. Instead, be happy for them; that they found what they were looking for. Hold onto the hope that you could have love too. Romantically, relationally, or just interpersonally. Love others but love yourself. Be happy to be you. Do not try to be defined by a relationship. Just be you. Celebrate you. Celebrate being alive. Embrace it. 

And with that my last few comments on this holiday are simply this…God created us with a desire deep within our being that yearns for love. Yes, we all ache for friendships and closeness with others. However, we each inherently desire love that takes our breath away. We want the fairy tale. Here is my advice: do not forge it, force it, or falsify it. Just wait. Yes fine, date if you so desire. But let your heart be something that is not so easily given away. Wait for the right person at the right time. God created you and thus knows your heart. Trust him with a confidence instead of worry, self-pity, anger, bitterness or compromise.

As a daughter of God, I want to respect and honor the men of this world by not letting them have my heart if they are not intended to have it in the first place. I want to not lead anyone on. Men, I charge, protect the hearts of the women in your life. You are sons of God, as I am his daughter. Honor them. Protect them, even if that means restraining yourself physically or emotionally [girls need to be careful in that area as well!]. Even if that means not leading them on or being “friendly” flirty. Maybe you like a girl- or to the ladies, you like a guy- just because you have emotions and feelings toward them, guard your heart as well as theirs. If we have this attitude of utter respect and honor, how much more will it mean when we meet the right person knowing nothing had been compromised and the heart was not broken? How much more will it mean when you know you can give away your whole heart instead of a broken piece? Don’t let this holiday, singleness, or your relationship distract from this one point: you are created by God and he loves you, first and foremost. Be defined by him, not your relationship status.