In Christ alone, my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My comforter, my all-in-all
Here in the love of Christ I stand

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious day
Up from the grave He rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand

I love this song. Last week I rediscovered the beauty that comes from these lyrics, especially when the song is sung with passion and love for Christ. I listened to this song {by Adam Young of Owl City} and kept it on repeat for hours. I don’t remember the last time I have a listened to just one song on repeat. I weep. I lay prostrate on the floor when hearing this words. I sing. I smile. It is not about this song, by the meaning behind it. Christ chose to love me, a perfectly imperfect girl who is less than faithful to him. And yet he loves me anyway. He beckons me to go deeper. He cleansed my life from my shame and guilt. He is my all…and I trust him alone. I would not be who I am right now if it weren’t for the love of Jesus Christ. So as I listen to this song, I can’t help but be anything but thankful. I’m never going back to who I was. Jesus changed my life. End of story.

[I recommend listening to this song. Look it up. Read the words. If you don’t know Jesus the way this song describes, seek him out. Let him change you. You will not regret it.]

Andrew was the brother of (Simon) Peter and everyone knew it. Andrew and Peter grew up with James and John- all four became disciples of Jesus. Prior to being Jesus’ disciples, they were all fishermen in Galilee. They all understood that their Messiah was coming- John the Baptist constantly announced that the One was coming. They were so excited and desperate to know this Messiah- the true Rabbi- that they left fishing to follow John the Baptist. They became his disciples while they waited for the Messiah. Andrew and John were with John the Baptist at the Jordan River for baptisms when one day something changed. The Baptist announced a man, Jesus, as the Lamb of God, a very title signifying he was the one they had all been waiting for. He was with them, there, in that moment. Talk about being overjoyed. Andrew and John left The Baptist to follow Jesus…they spent the entire afternoon with him just listening. They were with their Messiah! Immediately after they left Jesus’ presence, Andrew- overjoyed with that experience- ran and got his brother Peter. Eventually the brother pairs Peter & Andrew and James & John became the first disciples of Jesus.

Andrew’s name means “manly”. As a fisherman, there was no doubt that he looked manly, however his character revealed the same. He was bold, driven by passion, decisive, deliberate, zealous, and eager. He was willing to put himself in situations of hardship and obscurity if it meant finding the Truth. He was humble. But he lived in the spotlight of Peter, who was in Jesus’ inner of circle with James and John. However, not once is there a sign of resentment or bitterness. He was supportive in their ministry, even if it meant being in background.

Andrew knew the importance of the individual soul. Immediately after being with Jesus, he ran and got Peter- leading him to Christ. There are other Biblical examples where Andrew would bring different to meet Jesus because he knew Jesus would want to meet anyone wanting to meet Him. Andrew never spoke to the crowd. He was not a preacher. Peter became one of the greatest preachers of the disciples, but everything Peter did- all of his ministry- is directly linked to Andrew. It was Andrew that led him to Christ. Peter just was more publicly vocal.

Nothing is said in Scripture about Andrew after the Day of Pentecost- the day Peter brought 3,000 people to Christ. Historians say Andrew was eventually crucified in Greece. Apparently he lead the wife of the Roman governor to Christ. When she refused to recant this new faith, pushing aside the gods of Rome, Andrew was killed. He was lashed to the cross not in the T shape but in a X shape, where his arms were tied down with rope in a X. It took two days for him to die, however painfully. During those two days of slow death, Andrew brought passers-by to Christ.

Don’t think your life does not have an impact. You may be the very person that changes the life of the person that changes the world. Andrew, who lived in the shadow of Peter- the most influential and known disciple- was just as significant to history. Never doubt your potential or value of investing in the individual, not always the crowd.

Don’t be a afraid, I’ve redeemed you. I’ve called you by name. You’re mine. When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you. When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down…I paid a huge price for you…So don’t be afraid. I’m with you…you’re my handpicked servant…Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert- be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. Its bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is! I’m making a road through the desert. Rivers in the badlands.

scattered verses in Isaiah 43 {The Message}

Recently I have noticed a dynamic change. This change encompasses the Church altogether. As I stated in another writing, the Church- the Body of Christ- must have an expectancy for a movement of God’s Spirit. Without that expectancy for greater things, change cannot take place. But even with expectancy, that is not enough. Recently I read something about the Church and the apparent Body of Christ- each person individually. And my heart breaks deeply. It breaks for those in the Church, and the Church itself, because I fear we are greatly missing something.

“We say that our churches are blessed by the presence of the Holy Spirit. But what if, when people come, there is no sign of His presence, no joy, little love, and no manifestation of the grace and power of Christ?…Some Pentecostal people have, at one time, had an experience with God, but the work of the Spirit has diminished in their lives. It has not continued to affect how they live.”

These few sentences gripped me in my heart as I read from an article in my church’s foyer. I sat there and I was almost overcome by many emotions. Thoughts ran through my mind as if in a marathon. Today, when I read this article, it just happened to be “Pentecost Sunday”- the day to use a reminder [and refilling] of the Spirit of God in our lives. That is where it hit me. We tend to use this one day to refill ourselves spiritually. What about the rest of the year? I fear we use it as an excuse to renew our walk with God and wait again until the next big service. We seek the presence of God yet there is no fruit. I fear that too many rely on this one day [or special services, crusades, or revivals] to reestablish themselves in faith and in the Spirit of God. If we are called Pentecostals then that entails allowing the Holy Spirit to continue to work, daily, in our lives. Our churches would be radically different if each person claiming to be a Pentecostal [or even just a Christian] would allow for that Spirit to encounter them at their core. Conviction would occur. I do not mean deciding not to lie, only, but the multitude of sin that we pretend doesn’t affect us. Gossip is disease in our churches. Crude joking is at the altar, in the sanctuary, and in the fellowship. Arrogance and pride is gangrene spreading throughout, especially in leadership. The stage has become a pedestal. Alcohol is pretty poison disguised in one beer, one glass of wine, and one night forgotten. Pornography and sex are secrets hidden in shame. And we wonder why even when we expect great things, we see no wonders. No miracles. When we seek the presence of God we must be willing to let go and allow for His Spirit to see those areas in our lives that need change. Without that change, our expectancy is in vain. From within the walls of every church, it is our choice as believers of Christ the Messiah to want God more than the lives that we live. Our lives, if truly seeking the Spirit of God, will be full of love and life, owning up to our mistakes in our humanity, but still recognizing the power of God in spite of it all. It is not enough to experience God and His Spirit alone, but to daily seek a new experience with Him, never being satisfied. Complacency must be left. From within the walls…change is possible.

“Without expectancy…you’ll never give birth to anything.”

For anyone who has ever read the Bible or at least anything about Jesus, you have most likely heard about Simon/Simon Peter/Peter. Yes, he was called by three different names…with a purpose. But Let’s look at the beginning.

Peter was the first disciple chosen by Jesus. Before that, he was just a fisherman. He had followed John the Baptist because he wanted to be aware of when the Messiah came. Peter was a fisherman, and married, living in Capernaum at Galilee. In all four locations in the Bible listing the disciples, Peter is listed first. [Matthew 10:2-4, Mark 3:16-19, Luke 6:14-16, Acts 1:13]. He was listed first mainly because he was the main disciple.

Peter was originally named Simon, which was a very common name back in that day. He was eager, aggressive, outspoken, brash, vacillating, undependable, impulsive, and arrogant. He would also jump into anything first and also would be the first bail out when things got tough. When he met Jesus, he immediately knew he wanted to follow this “Rabbi”. With Peter, Jesus was creative with mentoring him. He changed his name. He went from being Simon to Peter. Sometimes he was called both. There is great significance of this. Peter meant “the Rock”. Jesus would call Peter by that name to stress the importance of being firm, constant, and fully obedient to Jesus. It was about Peter becoming selfless, rather than selfish. It was a reminder of who Peter should be, not who he was. Anytime Jesus called Peter “Simon”, I would be that he cringed…he knew he was in trouble. He knew he was acting wrong and Jesus was correcting him.

“Peter is mentioned in the Gospels more than any other name, except Jesus. No one speaks as often as Peter, and no one is spoken to by the Lord as often as Peter. No disciple is so frequently rebuked by the Lord as Peter; and no disciple ever rebukes the Lord except Peter. No one else confessed Christ more boldly or acknowledged His lordship more explicitly; yet no other disciple ever verbally denied Christ as forcefully or as publicly as Peter did. No one is praised and blessed by Christ the way Peter was; yet Peter was also the only one Christ ever addressed to as Satan. The Lord had harsher things to say to Peter than anyone else…all this contributed to making him the leader Christ wanted him to be.” [Twelve Ordinary Men]

At the time near Jesus’ death, Peter denied his Rabbi, his Messiah. He chose to deny knowing him for fear of death. Jesus even warned him he would do so. Can you imagine that feeling, when the very person who has changed your life, you deny because of fear? Peter was acting as Simon, a weak, impulsive, selfish man, not The Rock- not who Jesus was calling him to be. Later on Peter became one of the greatest influences of Christianity. Jesus had died, rose again, and left the earth in the hands of his disciples. It was their turn to spread the Truth. Peter spoke to thousands of people and they accepted Christ. Peter was emboldened by the power of Jesus and the discipleship he received from him. He died because he refused to deny Christ again. In fact, he was crucified as well. It was a normal practice in the Roman Empire to crucify people on the streets as a reminder to not anger Rome. Peter did just that. He was condemned to death, but in his death he made one request- to be crucified upside down because he did not deserve the same exact death as Christ. In his death, he was Peter, not Simon. In his life, though he acted as both, he was an ordinary man that Jesus chose to become someone extraordinary and to change the course of history forever. He was involved, bold, decisive, humble, submissive to Christ, courageous…He was normal fisherman that became great.

What about you? You can become someone extraordinary if you just follow Jesus Christ…

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I guess being in this time of my life where I figure out what is next. In solitude, I sit, cry, and pray asking God to direct me. In the silence, on the answer of wait echoes back. My aches for so many things. Human trafficking. Genocide. Perversion of sex. Refugee camps. Poverty. Truth…in all of these things and many more, all I want to do is share truth and love, even if only through action. This past year I lived in an apartment, I worked at a coffeeshop and went to a church at the YMCA. As good as those things were in my life, they are not me. I was not created for those things. They were just parts of the bigger picture. And here, I find myself now home, struggling with this idea of war, which has many faces. I need to do something.

Two years ago I went to Honduras for the fourth time. One night my friend Vicky and I were sitting on the rooftop just gazing upon the city. I began to weep on the balcony realizing that in the morning I would have to say goodbye, again, to the very place that first stirred my heart. Vicky, my dear friend, sat next to me realizing that truth as well. But I was stunned when she made note of another truth about me. She said “Mandy, you’re in your element when you’re here…when you’re doing something like this. When you’re getting sunburnt, dirty, and sweating out there. This is what you were created for. This is who you are.” Granted that is not an exact phrasing of what she said, but it gets my point across. What she said to me on that balcony has never left my memory. What she said was true.

I am fully alive and fully myself when I am doing what I know is what I was created for.  I know that in my heart I am not doing everything I can here because here is not where I am meant to be, this is another temporary part of my life. Even further, I am beginning to believe that where I am meant to be will be harder, more uncomfortable, and even more dangerous than anything I have experienced. Something inside of me is preparing me for what is to come. Maybe you won’t agree with me. Maybe you believe that God doesn’t put his followers in danger.

Last summer, a friend of mine- a missionary to the Middle East- make a comment I can never forget. She said “Don’t you dare pray for my safety. Never pray for my safety. Always my ministry.” I want to get to that point. I want to get to the place where literally everything in focus is what God leads me to. I do not want to face fear alone because of the strength and courage of Christ. I do not want to back down from anything for possibility of danger or even worse….death. I don’t know. I just believe, that deep down, this year and last- are preparing me for the years to follow. The hard years. Earlier this year I was really struggling financially. I’ve been injured and sick in more ways than ever before. I have never felt more alone than now. I have never been more discontent than now. I feel that all of this, everything I have been dealing with is preparing me for the coming years of hard ministry in foreign countries. Not countries where you can speak the name of Christ and be done with it. But countries that speaking the name of Christ gets your stoned or killed. Counties that bring threat of bombings. Countries that kidnap and sell women and children for sex trafficking. Countries that kill anyone that speaks truth in any way. These are the areas that I feel I will soon be approaching.

I need to get to that point where danger is never my focus. Safety is never my focus. My ministry must be, at all times, my priority, even if unto death.