Life is hard. Push through.

It has been about a month since my last post largely because of one reason: pneumonia. That’s right I was the hacking and coughing and sneezing and winded mess that people stared at in public hoping the would not catch the unknown-to-them disease I carried around.  Yes, I was indeed that person. But you see over the past month a lot has happened and I have definitely have had plenty of time to be reflective.

You see on October 20th, I participated in an event called The Tough Mudder which is a 12 mile, 22 obstacle physically challenging event definitely not created for the untrained, ill-prepared or lazy. Even having trained for months, I still greatly struggled through the event. It was also 55 degrees outside. I competed with a team, and they are largely the reason I was able to finish. Them and of course God. Read my previous TM post and you will hopefully understand my logic a bit more. During the event we were cold, freezing in fact, as the race begins with a gigantic ice bath followed by 12 miles of mud, muddy terrain, water, muddy water, and ridiculous obstacles like climbing a 12 foot wall, jumping off a 20 foot dock into muddy water, and crawling through piping full of merky water. Oh and did I mention there was mud? After 5 hours [way longer than normal averages], an injury, all of us bruised and tired, exhaustion and definitely cold, we made it across the finish line. I can’t even tell you how incredible that moment felt running over that marking holding hands with my two good friends Danielle and Kasey and being crowned with the official finish line Tough Mudder headband following by scarfing down clif bars, water, and fruit. It was finished! Hoorah!

Accomplishment!

 

I cannot even begin to tell you how timely the Tough Mudder was for me personally. It was something I knew I had to do- again read my previous post about the TM. But it was also something that taught me a ton. Basically toward the end of the race, I felt sick but refused to quit. Not the kind of throw up sick but just… off. On Sunday morning, the day after, I awoke to find myself achy in every part of my body, bruised like I had been beaten, cut up, and weak. On top of that I sounded like a chain smoker. Every day since that Mudder I have been sick- that is until now- one month later. Like antibiotics, can’t stand up, look like death sick. Yet none of that mattered to me because I knew I had accomplished something great… for me.

When I say this event, and even being sick, was timely I mean it. In the week following, I watched while laying basically on bed rest, as Hurricane Sandy destroyed my beaches and my state [read my previous post]. For about a week and half I worked at a shelter for displaced people of Hurricane Sandy. Yes while being on an assortment of prescribed drugs I worked 12 and 14 hour days for over a week. My heart breaks for my state. Disaster does not come at convenient times nor does it ask us for permission to change everything. It just comes. I did not feel that being sick excused me from helping those that lost everything. A week after Sandy, during my time volunteering at the shelter, a second storm hit. In many places, it left over a foot of snow. It was not time for me to be comfortable or okay with standing by and watching.

You see what I have learned in this past month is that no matter the obstacle ahead, no matter the storms that come, no matter the devastation left behind, we have to persevere. We have to get back on our feet, wade through the mud and water if necessary and get to the finish line. The finish line still isn’t here yet for us. But we need to try our best, at all times, no matter what, to push through and not give up. Life will push us down. It will try to, sometimes literally, crush us under its waves. It may, again literally, take everything from us. But this it cannot take- our hope in Christ. Life is going to be hard. But push through and press on because its in the victories over our obstacles that we can look back and say we accomplished something extraordinary.

Broken but not destroyed. There is hope.

I am not going to sit here and tell you everything is okay. Simply put, its not. Not even close.

My apartment may be okay. My parents’ house might be okay. I have friends’ that have lost much. I have friends’ that have lost everything. Three days later, and millions of people are still without electricity. Never before have I ever seen grocery stores so empty. No milk, no eggs, no bread, limited cereals. Shelves look barren. Huge trees were completely uprooted and ripped from the ground. The Autumn leaves cover the ground, no longer giving the beautiful fall glow that the North loves so dearly. The ocean did not halt at the edge of neighborhoods. Instead it not only intruded rushing down the streets of communities, but it decided to take buildings, cars, and beauty with it. Houses full of water, and sand are just a glimpse of the damage. Most of the flood waters and high tides receded however leaving feet of sand in some places. The closer you get to where the heavy damage is done, it looks ghostly. Well, Happy Halloween I guess. The closer you get to where disaster is evident, the more you realize the heartbreaking reality… New Jersey is a mess. NYC is terrible too. With massive flooding still in effect, the subways, tunnels, and basically everything on Lower Manhattan and other nearby areas of NY are closed off for an undetermined time. Places you would never think of such devastation are not only leveled or washed away, but greatly affect the economy of this region. This is all more than just a mess.

[picture of the National Guard in LBI]
[Brooklyn Tunnel]

Seaside Heights Casino Pier Roller Coaster….

For anyone that doesn’t know or realize, New Jersey thrives largely because of our shoreline. Our beach communities, boardwalks, theme parks, piers are heartbeat of Jersey. It is what we love. Whether you are a Phillies/Eagles fan or Yankees/Giants fan, Jersey can agree that we love our beaches. We love our boardwalks. Anyone that has lived here long enough has most likely had some amazing memories down the shore. I know I have. Between youth group beach days in the summer to me taking my youth group there letting many of them experience OC for the first time. Or friends and I going down to celebrate the fact that we were on college summer break. Or the memories I have with my best friend walking the board walk, going to the theme park, or watching the fireworks on Fourth of July. More recently I have gone to LBI for winter retreats at a place that is now devastated. One of my absolute favorite memories down the shore was alone, when I used to drive there early in the morning in the winter when it was still dark, to park and make to the beautiful, quiet beach and watch the sunrise snuggled up in a blanket with coffee. I cannot tell you the beauty of those breathtaking sunrises I have experienced there.

Ask anyone from this area, they have memories down the shore. Hurricane Sandy did a great job with destroying many of those places. She did a great job with ruining one of the largest parts of our economy. She especially did a great job with causing such extensive damage with flooding to cease public transportation limiting the commute for probably thousands of people to and from NYC. What Hurricane Sandy did not do is destroy us. We are still. Though many of that which we loved is destroyed and gone, we are alive. What has been lost will be a memory and something new will be rebuilt.

Ocean City Boardwalk – a few years ago.
A few years ago at the shore- OC 

We need to move forward and push through the next few months, because this will difficult for some more than others. Church, I urge you to have compassion during this time. Help your neighbor, your community, your enemy even. This is the time for the Church- those that believe and claim to live for God- to really LIVE OUT LOVE. We as Christians know this, that no matter what comes our way, we have a God that can be our strength and bring us through any tragedy or situation. This is an incredible opportunity for our communities and State to see a love that goes beyond barrier, race, religion, and yes, even favorite sports team [hah!]. This is a chance at living out what the Gospel commissioned us to do in the first place. Not just this week or next week or even next month. This will be a long process. Continue to push forward and live out love no matter what. People, especially those with great loss, need hope, compassion and love. Don’t keep that from anyone. The soul of New Jersey is the shore, and though it is broken, along with much more, we as Christians have something to offer those that are devastated, something that cannot be destroyed in any storm or struggle: His Love.

I encourage you all, through this difficultly, see God working, in even the smallest of ways.

My reason for the Tough Mudder. One Day Encounting.

Tonight I sit on my couch in my apartment living room thinking about the last year, year and a half. So much has happened that I find words not being able to fully describe everything. Between mistakes, situations, and various other challenges I have found myself… moving beyond who I was a year ago, even two years ago. As I look at this past year of my life- heck let’s take that to two years- I see so much, well, stupidity. I see my flawed humanity peering through the looking glass. I see much immaturity, both as a recent graduate and as 20-something. I see my mistakes as a single adult and how certain decisions have changed me. From making unwise decisions with money to turning down a probably great guy for a date to even deciding to being single for a year intentionally with the purpose of refocusing after a previous almost relationship [long story, and not really one I want to share]. I even see how my friend David getting killed in Afghanistan has changed me. Or having two jobs with really no time for myself and overcoming a constantly swollen and aching foot from an injury.  Honestly, there is such a long list of things that I wish I could redo or forget happened.

But where would be the growth of this past two years of my life? Where would be the learning and accomplishment?

In just over a day and a half, I will be doing something that to many is stupid, crazy, and just unnecessary. I will run 12 miles, complete 22 military grade obstacles, and cross a finish line with a team of friends to complete the Tough Mudder. I haven’t actually explained to really anyone my purpose for doing this event. I haven’t explained my reason for refusing to back down. Everything that has happened in the last two years has changed me so much that I find myself making the Tough Mudder my goal, something that says “I am new, changed, different…not giving up, pushing through, and pressing hard”. This Tough Mudder is a huge thing for me, more than a physical accomplishment, more than something to win a t-shirt, and more than something to do just to say I did it.

It is symbolic of my last two years. Symbolic of the obstacles I have faced, symbolic of the crap I have done and the mess I have found myself in, and symbolic of the help I have had through it all with God. The Tough Mudder is about camaraderie- team work- and pushing through any challenges that you face. I believe God has been reason for everything, regardless of others’ faults or my own stupidity or just…life. The moment I cross that finish line will be so freeing, so calming, so exciting, so moving… so many things. This is a life goal because life is more than just a moment or a decision. God has shown me so much and I am doing this Tough Mudder for him. He is my everything. With his strength and definitely his grace I can do all things, in this Mudder, and in life.

A few election thoughts.

In light of election season, I decided I would write some thoughts. And no, don’t worry I will not be making this some agenda for Romney or Obama and if you do so by commenting about either, I will gladly and mostly likely ignore them.  In fact, this post is definitely for neither. Tonight during the second Presidential Debate of this year’s upcoming election, I realized something that is increasingly making me more and more angry. The Christians from both sides. Yes, I said it. I am not angry at Romney or Obama, Democrats or Republicans. I am angry at the poor example of Christ coming from Christians from either [or neither] side. While watching the debates, I was avidly watching the responses people were posting on Facebook and Twitter. There is so much arrogance, disrespect, and slander coming from Christian voters for both sides.

For Governor Mitt Romney people:
Who of you actually know him? Seriously? Do you know him well enough to decide that because he is a mormon he is or is not a true Christian? Just because he is a republican, for you conservatives out there, does not mean he is necessarily the godly choice. Just because he claims faith does not make him flawless or perfect. It does not give you the right to bash or slander President Obama because guess what, for at least 3 more weeks [technically until the inauguration] he is your President and there is a Biblical mandate to honor and respect him, regardless if you voted for him. And stop saying he is the Anti-Christ! Get over your spiritual pride thinking you know everything God has for this nation.  Your party is not the godly one. And in case you did not know, Romney is not God, and therefore fallible.

For President Barak Obama people:
First, I am no racist but this subject really gets me going. In the previous election, post announcement of his victory, I was called a “nigger hater” by a group of African-Americans on my university campus solely because I was telling them to be quiet. It was after  sound curfew [11pm] and out of respect for fellow classmates I was asking ALL Obama and McCain supporters to quietly celebrate or mourn for their party. What still amazes me is how so many African Americans in this election still claim they are not racist yet have made voting for Obama a race issue simply because they are black. Again, I am not a racist- not even close. But my challenge to you who are African-American, be cautious using race as your reason for voting in this election or any other. Also, just like the Romney voters, stop slandering him. Stop saying he is this or that. Regardless of truth, remember that Obama is not perfect just like Romney. Your party is also not the godly one.

I don’t mean to post this blog to stir up dissension among friends, family, and especially not the Church. In fact, my intentions are for avoiding disunity and do bring a focus on something beyond who wins this election. Church- Christians- we should not be allowing for ourselves to be consumed in discord and hatred- slander, gossip, and arrogant talk- not should we allow for ourselves to bring division in our Body as believers in Jesus Christ. Remember always, that we serve God through Jesus Christ first and foremost. The moment you put anything- and I mean anything above that- you have created for yourself an idol. And beyond that, remember that we are all flawed and imperfect. Romney, Obama, you and I are all imperfect and in need of grace. As a Christian, I challenge you to pray for your leaders across the board- your parents, your boss, your teachers, your pastors, your governors and your President. It is Biblical to pray for those that God has established within authority. Pray for God’s name to be honored. Pray that above all, God’s will be done.

“We love villains. We need them. Politicians make great and easy villains. But life is rarely that simple. Put your stone down.” -my friend Bryan Ward

Consider your ways.

Something got to me tonight as I was reading. I find myself discontent in life. I want the next thing…the next thing for my life. I will want the next this or that. Honestly, that is how so many people are in this world, especially a place like America. How often do I find myself (or you for that matter) completely satisfied? In a world where the next big thing is coming, or the next update, or the latest brand or whatever new fad is out there, we tend to draw near to it all. We draw near to things that offer a semblance of hope, fulfillment, joy, contentment. The problem I have found with practically everything is that I always want more. I always want the next thing. I am never full satisfied.

This is exactly what God brought to Haggai, a man who served God by urging the people of Israel to turn to God and serve him with their lives.

Consider your ways. You have sown much and harvested little. You eat but you never have enough; you drink, but you never have your fill. You clothe yourselves, but no one is warm. And he who earns wages does so to put them in a bag with a hole.”  [Haggai 1:6]

The problem I noticed with this statement is that I find it to be true about…myself. Reading it hit like a knife in the heart. Bullseye. What impact am I having on this earth? Am I harvesting…meaning am I leaving a legacy behind of benefit to others? Am I ever satisfied with the way I am living, with what I am doing? I am sick of wasting everything.

We each need to reach a moment in our lives where we choose to live for God. It is as simple as that. Consider your ways. How do you live? What mark are you leaving behind on the world? You could be as humanitarian as you want to be. But living for God is the only thing that will matter and the only thing of eternal value. Stop wasting your life with stupid, selfish living where your concern is you. This world is bigger than you. God’s story is bigger but includes you. It’s more than just happiness. Do something that matters. Live for God. Serve him. With that, and only that, you will find a satisfaction, contentment, and joy that will not be found anywhere else.

Just a simple thought tonight as I get ready for bed.

Obama/McCain (an old post)

I am so disappointed with the reactions because of the election. Okay yes Obama won and McCain lost. Let me explain how my evening went on a Christian university campus:

I was sitting in my dorm room writing a paper, not watching the election info. This was a little before 11 pm. All of a sudden I heard a roar break out outside my building. To my surprise I walked out of my dorm room to find Obama supporters and McCain supporters screaming. The Obama fans were cheering in joy and praise while the McCain supporters were responding saying Obama is the anti-christ, etc. Okay seriously. Did that really happen? Noise like crazy. Now mind you I am an RA on campus therefore things involving noise past 11 pm I have to deal with. I thought it was something simple. I began to ask people politely to quite down. I was not focusing my attention on one group of supporters. Soon enough most of the RAs around campus had to begin to walk around calming people. For over two hours I asked people to respectively cheer [or mourn for the McCain supporters] to find other places away from the dorms.

This is where I am disappointed at students at Southeastern University, BOTH Obama and McCain supporters!!! Christian students slander another individual saying he is the anti-christ however that is arrogant and self-righteous. I heard so much talk about McCain being the godly man and Obama being the devil that I felt sick. But it got worse. In my process of asking people to calm down, a certain group of African-American individuals felt the need to slander me. Now I am no racist. I am anything but a racist. I have friends of every race and ethnic group! I never once mentioned or implied my political status or the like, however this group of African-American individuals felt the need to call me a Nigger Hater [sorry for the language!]. Tell me that wasn’t a racist comment by them?! They continued to say that if McCain won we [the RAs] wouldn’t be doing anything about the noise. Yeah but how could they make that claim without me ever stating my beliefs to begin with?

So here is what I think. Southeastern University, as well as the church, is divided and has lost their focus on God. The fact that Jesus stood for order and unity yet we can’t even act like Christians without division?! Really!? I am sick to my stomach right now because of the things, the words, the actions, that I saw on a campus, and even the church, that is supposed to represent God. I don’t care if you voted Democratic, Republican, or third party- REPRESENT GOD BEFORE POLITICS! We as the church wonder or play the blame game as to why our nation is the way it is. Here is my answer: we have failed our nation by representing ourselves instead of God.

So now we have a new president. Congrats! Really I do mean that because I feel that the man who won is the person God intended to win because it was right. Right doesn’t always mean godly, good, or anything else. And I don’t mean that to say anything against Obama either. Mainly I wanted to point out that FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS we have President Obama. We may not be able to know what God is doing but there is something we can do. Prayer is powerful. If you voted for Obama then congrats. If you voted for McCain then oh well. Regardless of your political stance, prayer for your leaders and those established in authority is Biblical. If you want change in either way, PRAY FOR IT! God now just asks for obedience from His body, however dis unified it might be, to take a call to prayer. I leave you with this:

II Chronicles 7:14
“If my people who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from Heaven and I will forgive their sin and I will heal their land.”

[Oh and no political debate on what you believe regarding McCain vs. Obama- I will delete it]

Clear the Stage.

This song has been wrecking my heart. How much of my life is worship to God? How much of it is just for myself? Even in ministry? I want my life, in every way to reflect the heart of One who is greater…who deserves it.

Clear the stage and set the sound and lights ablaze

If that’s the measure you must take to crush the idols

Jerk the pews & all the decorations, too

Until the congregations few, then have revival


Tell your friends that this is where the party ends 

Until you’re broken for your sins, you can’t be social

Then seek the Lord & wait for what He has in store 

And know that great is your reward so just be hopeful



’Cause you can sing all you want to

Yes, you can sing all you want to

You can sing all you want to

And still get it wrong;
Oh, worship is more than a song



Take a break from all the plans that you have made 

And sit at home alone and wait for God to whisper

Beg Him please to open up His mouth and speak

And pray for real upon your knees until they blister

Shine the light on every corner of your life

Until the pride and lust and lies are in the open

Then read the Word and put to test the things you’ve heard 

Until your heart and soul are stirred and rocked and broken


‘Cause you can sing all you want to

Yes, you can sing all you want to

You can sing all you want to

And still get it wrong;
Oh, worship is more than a song


We must not worship something that’s not even worth it

Clear the stage, make some space for the One who deserves it


Anything I put before my God is an idol
Anything I want with all my heart is an idol
And anything I can’t stop thinking of is an idol
And anything that I give all my love is an idol


’Cause I can sing all I want to

Yes, I can sing all I want to

And we can sing all we want to
We can sing all we want to
We can sing all we want to

And still get it wrong

Worship is more than a song

Clear the stage and set the sound and lights ablaze

If that’s the measure you must take to crush the idols

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/clear_the_stage_lyrics_jimmy_needham.html
All about Jimmy Needham: http://www.musictory.com/music/Jimmy+Needham

Broken vows. Broken covenant.

Throughout my five years in college/grad school and two years of ministry full-time, I have met a ton of people. Godly people that I truly do believe want to do great things for God. The problem is…people are severely flawed. We hurt each other. We add to the wounds. We cause damage. We break each other. The difference here is that with Christ, restoration and forgiveness is at the core of His heart. Without it, we would be nothing. Nothing.

Over the past few months, I have learned of several couples- friends of mine- having marriages that have fallen apart for various reasons. Friends in ministry. Friends from college. Friends from both. I have literally cried for my friends’ broken marriages. As far back as I can remember, I have always believed that divorce should never be a solution to a messed up marriage. Call me crazy but that is what I have believed, not because divorce is this horrible thing but because marriage is a beautiful thing, however broken it might be. I am aware that this may be a very controversial topic for people to read, especially if you come from a divorced home or have been divorced yourself. I do not mean to belittle your situation. But please hear me out.

I believe in Christ which means I believe in his death and resurrection. That means I must believe in restoration. I remember last year I had a conversation with a group of my girlfriends during a wedding weekend of our friends from college. During one of our meals the subject of divorce came up. Though I can’t recall how this came up, I remember having said this: “As far as I can help it, divorce is simply not an option”. This is remained at the forefront of my mind for a year. Why? Simply because I still maintain this belief, probably more than I did last year. Now I know I am still unmarried myself and have yet to go through some major issue that could potentially tear my marriage apart, but I think this important. To get the thought deep in my mind that as far as I can help it, to the best of my ability paired with God’s strength, grace, and mercy, divorce is simply not something I will choose. You may respond with, well “What if he…” or “What if you…” or “What if you this or that…” that’s okay. But understand this: I do not want to go into a marriage believing, even in the most minute ways, divorce cannot be on the table as a viable option.

I want to believe that my marriage is worth fighting for. Regardless if there is an addiction, accident, affair, or other struggle, I want to believe that my vow- my covenant marriage before God- was true. For better or worse…right? You might say this is naive. Go ahead. You may be critical or think of me as immature in my singlehood. Go ahead. But I believe it is how God wants it…to push through and not give up, no matter the struggle. I will say this: separation can be an option but only for a time and certainly not an option to fool around on the side. Marriage is supposed to be, especially for Christians, an example of our relationship with Christ. If he gave is all for me, shouldn’t I do the same? Shouldn’t I do the same to my [future] husband?

I need to learn to love in spite of now before I am married. I need to learn to forgive now before I am married. If I can learn but a fraction of the love of Christ, it will make a world of difference. God needs to be the center. We need to believe in the restoration that comes with Jesus Christ. Granted, I understand that people may have already experienced divorce. For that, I am sorry. I am sorry that for whatever reason it did not work out. I am sorry that you were hurt or heartbroken. I am sorry if you were the one who hurt or brought heartache. My stance remains the same: Jesus wants to restore. It may not necessarily mean your marriage is restored, as both people need to want it and fight for it, however, he can restore you to fullness and wholeness in Him. 

For you who read this, maybe one of those friends who have recently had marriage problems, hear my heart for you. God does love you. Restoration is a possibility for your marriage. I don’t know your situation but I want hope in Christ’s restoration for you. If nothing else, that you can learn to forgive each other. That you can love God with all your heart and learn to do the same to others. To love in spite of… and maybe give those vows another shot. With God all things are possible, right? Regardless, believe that restoration is a possibility…

The Corner.

The Liquor Loft, the G-Spot, and two creepy houses… and no this is not about some creepy Halloween porno.

Obviously, anyone can quickly figure out that the Liquor Loft has something to do with…you guessed it…alcohol. It is on one end of a corner that has, over the year, gained my attention quite a bit. It is a typical liquor store. Nothing too special about it. Next to it sits two rather sketchy houses that are unmarked yet used for some business… The other end of the corner sits the G-Spot. Unless you know this as the abbreviated name for a particular area of the female body, you may not guess what The G-Spot is. So let me enlighten you for a second. The G-Spot is simply a strip club. The only one in the area.

What does this corner have to do with me, a credentialed minister who works as youth pastor? Yeah I am hoping your first guess is not that I moonlight as a stripper or hang out in the Liquor Loft. For the past 11 years I have had a burden on my heart, something that has grown to be a part of me…something that I can’t get rid of. The sex industry, pornography, human trafficking… all of it. It bothers me. No it angers me. It makes me infuriated beyond what you would want to see. More than that, it breaks my heart. I know you might be wondering why something like that bothers me so much as I am not a part of the industry. But the fact of the matter is that I am so angry and saddened for the [mostly] women who are coerced, forced, and manipulated into the sex industry- prostitution, strip clubs, escort services, pornos, and more. That is not how it should be. If you think those areas don’t affect the women in them, or the men for that matter, soon get your hands on the book Naked and Bare…my book that is in the works of publication.

Every time I drive past that specific corner, my heart melts. It symbolizes more than just a strip club where horny men go to get pleasure. It is more than liquor and the fact that alcohol can and often destroys people. It symbolizes more than a bunch of people getting their fix, whatever that fix may be. It is about brokenness and being lost. Being confused. A few years ago that corner had a bust for human trafficking. Its had a bust for drugs. That corner shows that this world has a lot of problems and one of the biggest ones is that we, all humans, are self-driven. We want what we want. We want pleasure, we want this or that, so we go for it. We are all flawed. And that is why that corner saddens me yet angers me.

If we choose to pursue things that are only self-pleasing, we are no more than our own lord with our own kingdom. If we choose to take part in things that are damaging to the self, whether physical or emotionally…we risk losing ourselves in the process. The sex industry is on my heart, and has been for 11 years, human trafficking being a huge part, because it is the world’s greatest lie. All of it. Sexuality is good. It was created by God yet perverted by Man. Even alcohol can be good but is often used to numb, alter, or change a state of mind or behavior. Why?

Something is wrong with this world. Every time I drive by that corner, I see it representing brokenness, lies, and lack. Lack of Jesus. Lack of hope. Lack of trust. Lack of conviction. Self-seeking, self-pleasing, broken people having no idea what they have really gotten themselves into. That is why, for 11 years, I have been praying about this concept of the sex industry and people and how it relates to God. It is why I have to, by God’s grace and provision, pursue this with all I have to help show people a love that outweighs everything else. A love that restores.

I want to show women of the sex industry, regardless if it was by choice or forced, that God thinks of them as worthy, valuable, and beautiful. I want to show the men of the sex industry, whether by choice or forced or just a customer, that there is so more much than sex and that God wants to create them to be warrior poets [thank you Braveheart]. I want people to see that every relationship you have in your life, can and will be affected by the choices to be involved, in any form of the sex industry. I want people to see that alcohol, though it may be fun or relaxing, can be so damaging. Drink but be cautious. It can and will affect the rest of your life. And ultimately, I want all people to see that every choice we make, everything we do affects our lives for eternity.

For that you were born.

Find out what makes you come alive. What makes you excited. Even what gives you a righteous anger. Something that you are discontent not having as a part of your life. God has put something inside of your heart. It is what makes your heart beat [metaphorically]. It is the very thing that gives you purpose and with it, you feel empty…because you are empty. Because you are not where you are supposed to me.  You are not using the talent you have innately, given by God. Designed by God for a greater purpose than yourself. Pursue that. Never give up. Never let go. No matter what it takes, if this is your dream… the very thing you were born for, do not miss out. Go after it wholly, completely, desperately, never giving up, never letting go. For that, you were born.