Author: MJ

I love to write. It is my way of expressing my thoughts on life and everything along on this journey. I am a firm believer in the love of Jesus because he has changed my life. Ultimately my life is about living beyond the ordinary, normal, and mundane and doing something incredible with God working through me.

Who needs conviction?

On By MJIn Biblical ApplicationLeave a comment

Frustrated and torn, I am learning to give up so much. The biggest struggle at this moment in my life is not trusting God with finances, though important, and not trusting that God will guide me. My biggest struggle right now is dealing with fellow Christians around me. God has been beckoning my heart to go much deeper in my relationship with him. He has been challenging me to choose to serve him and his purpose more than my desires. But it is so hard to try to passionately pursue Christ, when all those Christians around me serve him at a very superficial level. I don’t mean this in a judging way, but I do mean it as a concerned friend. Honestly, it is just draining. So many Christians- my friends- at home and in Florida, love God but their actions show not much more than that. Granted, conviction is not the same with everyone. What may be a struggle or temptation for one person may not be an issue at all to another. But my question is about the attitude. Just because you don’t struggle with something, does that mean it still is something you should do [wear, say, act, etc.]? I have become so disappointed and even discouraged by my friends. Language is something that few of my friends care about. Gossip is the very poison that is destroying these friends, and worse, they don’t care or notice. They simply talk about who they think is gay, who is supposedly sleeping with who, or whatever the latest drama is at the time. And what about modesty? Modesty in dress is very important to me. I know this is an area that will always be controversial. I don’t really care. I believe modesty, in dress specifically, must be a part of the Christian’s life. I’m not saying turtlenecks are required, but at least the decency to recognize and ask why we dress the way we do. What response are we wanting really? And specifically for girls, why do we get so offended when someone takes notice of our bodies, if we have it showing like a buffet?

And now I have friends that have no conviction about their behavior. Is it really okay to play power hour and then wake up the next day naked and no knowledge of how the night played out? Is that really the life you want to live? Do you really want to hook up with someone just because you can? For me that is just ridiculous and irresponsible. If, as believers in Christ, we live as a temple of the Spirit, should not our behaviors reflect that spirit living within us? I believe it should.  So why would I want to have drunken nights of nonsense, remembering nothing but the morning after? Why would I want to smoke weed, cigarettes, or even hookah? The body is not being respected, thus I believe not respecting God. The same thing goes for eating right and exercising. Granted, I am still working on being better in shape, but my point overall is that if we truly believe that God lives within us, then why do we behave otherwise?

I am sick of this lack of conviction by Christians. This is specific to the Church. I am sick of these Christians that lack the conviction and compromise the Word with their actions. And I am sick of the excuses. We wonder why the world views the Church as hypocritical or judgment. Our words and actions with the Word do not match up. How can we expect those we try to reach to change if we aren’t even giving them the slightest glimpse of God in our lives? If you’re not hearing God, are you actually seeking? If you’re not changing, are you really trying? I am so drained. I am so drained being around these Christians. I know I am not perfect or anywhere near it. But I at least try. I know this is a long tangent of me venting, but I really needed to let it out. I am sick of trying to hide what I believe and why I believe it, especially with Christians. I understand that not all of my convictions will be held by all Christians, but I at least want to be respected by it. I at least recognize the truth that I am not my own. I am God’s and I want Christ to dwell within me. I want Christ to be reflected out of my life.

|Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible, but not everything is constructive.| -1 Corinthians 10:23

Legalism- the death of the church.

On By MJIn ThoughtsLeave a comment

Yes. I believe legalism will be the death of the Church.

I believe when churches become more concerned with tradition rather than doctrine, it will destroy the Church’s ability to minister to the world. The Church is meant to be a body of believers that hold to the truths of Jesus Christ. Instead, the church takes these truths, many without recognizing historical and contextual relevancy, and use them for more harm than good. This is a rather frustrating concept. Moments like this, that I deal with the arrogance of tradition and the smirk of legalism, I feel like leaving the Church to be the church…without the chilling breath of legalism down my neck. I feel like moving overseas here and now. Because overseas, in the midst of poverty at the homes of those that have only known suffering, the Bible is beautiful and the work of anyone willing to serve God is worth while. Instead, here in America, Churches are stuck in a legalistic mindset that they refuse to sway from. By remaining stubborn to their ways, I guarantee these leaders and members of this kind of church will miss great opportunities for reaching the lives of the common person. Because with legalism, the common person does not fit in that mold. Legalism is destroying the mission Jesus Christ sent the Church out to do. Legalism is destroying the reputation of the church from being a hospital to a hospice, however only for the elders. The remainder get the shaft because they do fit into the mold of legalism. They are different. But instead, these churches remain unswayed by this. And they wonder why they’ve seen no growth in two decades or why they have no younger generations or why no one of another race or background. Legalism…the death of the Church and even Christianity.

As a Christian, I am terrified because of this. This is not how it should be. This is not the Church Jesus wanted to build. 

Like air.

On By MJIn Biblical Application, ThoughtsLeave a comment

Hold your breath. Keep holding. A little bit longer- just keep holding. Hold as long as you can. Suddenly you have become more aware. You feel the need for air. You feel the pulse within. Maybe you feel dizzy or lightheaded. Now breathe. Depending on how long you held your breath, you might even be gasping for air to feel your empty lungs. Breath some more. Maybe this seems strange to you, maybe you already know this, but you need air. When you withhold your body this necessity, it becomes desperate. It needs oxygen. It needs life.

In Acts 2 that is exactly what happened. A group of people had met Jesus when he was on earth. They believed what he said. He promised the coming of His Spirit- not a ghost but something supernatural. The Holy Spirit is much like the air we breath. We don’t pay attention to needing it until we become desperate for it. The people in Acts 2 were waiting in a room desperate for this Spirit to come upon them. They had no idea what it was. But when it came it filled their lungs, their hearts, everything seemingly empty within them and overflowed out. They began to speak in languages unknown to themselves only because of this strange gift they received with the spirit. Our lives need the Spirit of God in our lives just as much as we need air. It always around. It is what gives you the gut feelings, the confidence, so much in our lives. When we really want more of it, it is usually because we’ve deprived its ability in our lives and we become desperate. Finally letting it in and breathing. Like gasping for air.

For the love of…

On By MJIn Thoughts1 Comment

I have lately seen in my personal life a correlation to my physical activity and my spiritual growth. I think there is something crucial that many people miss. Maybe they aren’t athletes. Maybe they hate taking walks. Maybe the closest thing they have to exercising is walking to their car or next class. Lazy. Simply put.

I am not innocent of this. I am an athlete. I love sports. I love playing sports- any of them. But as of late, I have been struggling with making up excuses to why my workout routine has been inconsistent. Last year something happened: I fell in love with running. Yes running! I used to hate it. But for some reason I began to love running and walking miles. It was great time for me to talk with God. I felt great. I was in great shape. But something else happened since my love for running was awakened. Back in March, I got injured. It took me 3 months, Xrays, an MRI, and 4 doctors later to figure out that I tore the ligament right below my ankle bone. My foot has been swollen ever since. I went through 7 weeks of physical therapy. But during that time, especially during PT, I was in great shape. I was working out more than ever before. However, I have not been running since May. I was dumb enough to try running a 5k knowing I had a torn ligament…talk about pain. I found myself halfway through the race with my calf completely cramped and in the worst pain I’ve ever felt. I finished the race but I was told to not run for several months. I now wait to find out if surgery is necessary.

But how does my running, working out, and exercising affect my spiritual discipline? This past year has been a struggle, especially because of my injury. But throughout this year, I have been on a constant roller coaster spiritually. I was most disciplined with my Bible reading, with my prayer, and even my Christian fellowship when I was actively maintaining a healthy lifestyle of working out- even with the injury. I have been at my weakest when I stopped relying on God and would quit when my ankle and foot hurt. I would become lazy. And I would wonder why I was getting out of shape. I would wonder why I was falling in to my past weaknesses spiritually. There is a direct connection whether you want to believe it or not. When we become disciplined physically, is it for ourself or for God? Is it for both? But even more, when we go after God spiritually we cannot neglect the physical aspect of our lives. If we say we love, aren’t we supposed to love God with all of our heart, our soul, our minds, and our strength? If we love God we need to make an active decision to love him with our everything, including how we treat our bodies physically. And when we love our bodies physically, shouldn’t we make sure its for the love of God and not ourselves?

Worship Charades

On By MJIn Biblical Application, ThoughtsLeave a comment

I find myself frustrated with something. I read something that has disturbed me for a few days. And for two days, it has been gnawing at my heart begging me to understand.

Quit your worship charades. I can’t stand your trivial religious games. I’m sick of your religion, religion, religion! …while you go right on sinning. When you put on your next prayer performance, I’ll be looking the other way. No matter how long or loud or often you pray, I’ll not be listening. And do you know why? Because you’ve been tearing people to pieces, and your hands are bloody. Clean up your act.

This passage is from Isaiah 1:13-17 [the Message]. I am still disturbed. Is this me? Yes I understand Isaiah was not directly this specifically to me, however it still applies. Am I this person? Do I treat worship- my lifestyle as a Christian- as a performance? Is it just a game to me? Does it matter at all. If I truly believe in Jesus, if he has truly changed my life, it should make a huge difference to how I live. It would be genuine and authentic. It would not be a charade. I would be different. Yet I find that I am not that different than who I was. I absolutely believe in Jesus Christ and what he lived and died for. Yet I still struggle with this internal battle.

I want to change. I want to be different. I want to quit the games of church and religion and actually make a difference in this world- starting with my own life. This verse basically says that God will not listen to our prayers because we’ve been tearing people to pieces and our hands are bloody. Maybe physically, but more than likely it is not physical. With our words. Gossip. Slander. Hate. Profanity. If I actually want to change this world and make a difference in the lives of others, I must learn to filter my words, my conversation, and even my actions. I need to clean up my act. You need to clean up yours too. It cannot be about a charade or a performance as a Christian, but a genuine encounter with Jesus and the desire to grow closer to him. That should affect all areas of our lives.

Ordinary?

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Do you ever wonder what your purpose is in life? Are you just simple ordinary?

I would have to answer yes to that question about myself. I often struggle about who I am really am and what the heck I am doing here in this life. I think of these great men and women of the Bible and I find myself at a loss for words. They did incredible things for God.  I am nothing like them. Right?

Wrong. Neither are you. Jesus is the prime example of choosing the ordinary people for greatness. He chose twelve of them. Back in that day, Jews had a very different lifestyle than what most people, especially Americans, have today. During Jesus’ day, at a young age men were given one significant opportunity. Starting young, boys went to school. They learned the scripture, they studied the books of Moses. They learned the role of the rabbi. The purpose for this was to be the best and chosen by a rabbi to be his replacement. This was an honor. This was a privilege, however, eventually that would end. Over the course of the following years, the system would filter out the “not good enoughs”- the ones they didn’t think were good enough to become a rabbi. This process had steps and eventually, it would come to the final few, all in their young teen years, and one or two would be chosen to follow a rabbi. That is what every Jewish boy strived to be…

When a boy was not chosen, they would have to return to their family and learn the family trade or business. They would be average, ordinary, and nothing special. None of the disciples had been chosen. They were the “not good enoughs”…until Jesus came into the scene. Jesus was called Rabbi and teacher. By this time each of the disciples were living their lives thinking nothing of it, because they were just simply ordinary. Jesus came to each of them and asked them to follow him…to follow the Rabbi. When Jesus called each disciple to “follow him”, it was not just a simple question of loyalty, it was a second chance, one they were denied in their earlier years. They were given the chance to serve a Rabbi, and learn his ways. He personally selected each.

“We are invited to be Jesus’ hands and feet because he loves us as we are yet loves us way to much to let us stay that way.” Jesus saw the disciples in their current circumstances and decided to call them in to greatness. Each disciple changed the course of history because they followed the Rabbi. They were given a fresh start. They were ordinary men chosen for greatness. Jesus chose me too. He chose you. And we each have the opportunity to serve him- to follow him. No matter where we each are in life. There is purpose. You can choose to remain ordinary or decide to follow Jesus Christ with your everything and change the world.

O Happy Day!

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The greatest day in history, Death is beaten. You have rescued me. Sing it out Jesus is alive. The empty cross, The empty grave. Life eternal You have won the day. Shout it out Jesus is alive. He’s alive. Oh happy day, happy day. You washed my sin away. Oh happy day, happy day I’ll never be the same. Forever I am changed. When I stand, in that place. Free at last, meeting face to face. I am Yours, Jesus You are mine. Endless joy, perfect peace. Earthly pain finally will cease. Celebrate Jesus is alive. He’s alive. Oh what a glorious day. What a glorious way that You have saved me. Oh what a glorious day. What a glorious name, the name of Jesus!

For some reason tonight, I am filled with a crazy peace. I keep smiling. I want to run around. I want to laugh. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I feel this way for a reason. The way someone feels when they are giddy in a new relationship. I feel this way. But it is not induced by a new relationship. It is because I remember a happy day. I remember being in Israel at the Garden Tomb. I remember being there feeling such peace- kind of like I do right now. I remember the Love that was given there. I am an ordinary person. Nothing special about me. Yet for some reason, Jesus, an unordinary man, chose to do something for me selflessly. He loved me relentlessly and took the death that was mine. But in his death, he gives a new life in our hearts. We have the choice to love him, everyday. We have a choice to smile in spite of our circumstances, in spite of our battles, in spite of our struggles, and along with our victories. So tonight, I remember that Jesus loved me enough to give me a second chance at living my life fully. I am not only free, but I am given a beautiful opportunity at true peace and joy. I do not have to be defined by my past, struggles, or anything else. I am forever changed by his love. I take it. Jesus is alive in me. I feel him. In my heart. The way we feel when we love someone deeply…oh happy day!

After Jericho.

On By MJIn Biblical Application1 Comment

I feel like lately God is speaking to me about promise, purpose, and purity.  Continually, in my devotion time, I find myself thinking about all three. I can see how all three correlate with my life currently. I am in a place, like the Hebrews [read my last post] in the desert wandering. Just wandering. But somewhere off in the distance and future there is the Promised Land. God has set out something for me, in my future, somewhere, but it is not fornow. Right now God is beckoning me to believe in his promise. He is beckoning my heart to believe so strongly that he does indeed have wonders ahead for me. Purpose. I have purpose. It is not to just breathe and to go through life, but to embrace whatever is ahead. For the Hebrews it was Jericho. They had to face an obstacle before claiming their Promised Land. They had to do as God commanded in order to have the victory in the battle.

But beyond that victory is what I talk about now. Before facing Jericho, Joshua had commanded the people to “Sanctify yourselves. Tomorrow God will work miracle wonders among you” [Joshua 3:5]. In their victory at Jericho, God gave them a command to not take anything cursed. By cursed he meant pagan idolatry, unclean items, and anything else that was impure and against God. Any other plunder was fine for the taking. However, as easy of a command that seems, it was not obeyed. They broke their covenant with God- their promise to him- to not take of any plunder God asked them not to. Once again, the people had disobeyed God. They had, yet again, choose their way over God’s.

Joshua was heartbroken by this dishonor of God. He fell before God, in what I believe, was desperation, despair, and hurt. God’s response was similar to before the battle at Jericho. Purity and consecration. He said, “I can’t continue with you if you don’t rid yourselves of the cursed things. So get started. Purify the people. Tell them: Get ready for tomorrow by purifying yourselves…you won’t be able to face your enemies until you have gotten rid of the cursed things” [Joshua 7:10-13]. And there it is. God did not say that they failed and that there was no hope. He gave them a solution. Grace. He told the people to purify themselves…to go through the ritual of cleansing out the impurity that had entered their camp.

That is where we need to be. We are guaranteed for failure. We make mistakes. We choose our way, often, instead of God’s. But even in our failures, God allows for us to purify ourselves. What is it that you need to purify from your life? What is it that will hold you back from the full promise of God? I have many things running through my mind. I want that promise- the one before Jericho- that “God will work miracle wonders among you”. But my heart must be pure. My life must be purified and cleansed. After we face our Jericho, our victorious accomplishment, but also our selfishness, we know that we have a God of many chances. We have a God that lets us bring forth purity in our lives again. Only then can we move on toward the promise. Only then can we live with purpose. Purity.

Jericho before me.

On By MJIn Biblical Application1 Comment

I love the story of the Israelites. Their history fascinates me. Can you imagine? In Eygpt for years, and finally freedom is in sight. Finally released by Pharaoh and freedom is tangible. They leave. All Hebrews. But shortly after leaving they find themselves at the sea. They have nowhere to go. Pharaoh, by this time, as changed his mind and now ready to capture the Hebrews. They were stuck. No solution. Water on one side, certain death at the other. But God provided. He held back Pharaoh meanwhile separating the Red Sea allowing for dry ground. The Hebrews made it safely to the other side. They had their freedom. Finally. On their way to their land, the very land promised to them by God, they were afraid and for some reason did not think God could handle the danger ahead. Because of their lack of faith and doubt, they spent 40 years wandering in the desert with their promise so close, yet still so unattainable. Again, they were stuck.

At the end of the 40 years, the Hebrews were allowed their promise. Lead by Joshua now, not Moses, Joshua led the people to the Jordan River. The Jordan River is nowhere near as magnificent at the Red Sea. In fact it is not a challenge to cross over…or at least not all the time. But when the time came for Joshua to lead the people past the river, it was flood season and no possible way to cross the Jordan. But again, God found a way to work through that which seemed impossible and made a way for the Hebrews. God gave Joshua a word to speak to the people: “sanctify yourselves. Tomorrow God will work miracle wonders among you”. This time the people had a choice. They could stay in a less than mediocre life, but safe life, on the one side of the Jordan River or they could embrace the unknown. Nothing ahead seemed sure or certain. The river itself was flooded. But this time the people and Joshua walked confidently in the promise of God. The waters were separated for the second time, allowing the Hebrews to walk on dry land. On the other side, the Hebrews had reached their land that was promised long before that generation even lived. But it was not finished there. Other people lived throughout that land. Jericho was ahead.

I fully believe that the message Joshua relayed to the people was profound. If they were going to walk in the promise of God and actually live it out, they had to face the difficulties ahead. If they wanted the full promise of God they would have to leave the banks of the Jordan River, cross on the dry land, and move forward. They could have lived that less than mediocre life of safety. But they were not living. They were barely breathing. But in the Promised Land, they would be living a life that was anointed by God. Defended by God. Prepared by God. Jericho was just one of many people they had to face in order to obtain their promise.

How often do we see something ahead that is far from safe and we choose to stay where we are? How often do we choose to wander in the desert, barely alive, rather than choosing the difficult path, but knowing your are giving life your all? I want to live like the Hebrews. More specifically, I want to live like Joshua. I want to believe that if I purify my life, live my life according to God’s truth, there will be wonders ahead. But with that promise I have to believe that God will help me in the struggles as well. You know, the difficult, confusing, dangers times. God didn’t just put the Hebrews before Jericho and let them stand there. He lead them to victory. But in that victory path, they still had to fully believe that God was right there with and had complete purpose through everything that was happening. I want the faith of Joshua. To know that behind me is a desert that offered nothing to me but before me was Jericho. To know that I have a choice to live fully for God and have purpose in my life, and not just be suffocating in the heat of the desert. To know that God will do wonders in my life even with Jericho before me.

Nothing.

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Come and take your place at the center of our hearts. Its where you belong. I want to be free from everything that keeps me from loving you.

I am selfish. I think of myself often before I do someone else. I think of my needs. And even when I do think of others, often I find myself wondering where I gain. What about you?

I want Jesus to be the center of my life. More than anything, the center of my everything. All that I think about, all that I long for, all that I desire to be is like Jesus. I am empty without his love, yet if I do not allow for Jesus to be my center- the core of who I am- I am nothing. I am completely nothing without Jesus. His love has changed me more than anything. He has brought me from a place in my life I never want to go back to.

He gave his everything to love me. His blood, his tears, his body all for me. I am nothing without that sweet surrender. Yet how do I love him? I say that I want to love him with my everything, but how often do my actions prove that to be true? I am meaningless, empty, and nothing without Jesus. I need to make him my center. I need to truly love him with my every word, my every action, my every thought. Loving the homeless, the hurting, the poor, the rich…everyone. It becomes a selfless act of simple love. I find that when I do love Jesus more than anything else, I find this immense joy birthing from me. However, when I do not love Jesus, I am simply…nothing.