To an extent, everyone has a fear of something. It just depends on how we react to that fear. How we behave because of that fear tells if you are controlled by it or have overcome it. Some might have a fear of heights or darkness. Others might have a fear of being alone, in whatever capacity. Others have a fear of drowning. Or maybe the fear of being raped. Regardless, we have to overcome. People will respond and live their lives according to their fear because it is what drives them. Rather, it is what controls. It holds captive the life of those that will let it. I do not mean that you must go sky diving if you are terrified of heights. Or that you should go deep sea scuba diving if you are terrified of sharks. But I do mean that we should evaluate our lives on every level. What holds us back? What drives us to fear? What keeps us captive in our lives, causing us to…not really live at all?

As a Christ-follower, we have no excuse to have fear. Yes, there are moments that can bring terror or even paralyze us in fear. Jesus does not mean we cannot feel the emotion of fear. But if we are daily resisting to fully live because of some fear in our lives, then we are not letting Christ live abundantly within. His perfect love casts out all fear. Whatever your fear may be, release it to Christ. That is honestly the best and only infallible solution. Below is a quote that has quite frankly stretched my faith. It has caused me to look inwardly and see if I really am trusting Jesus enough, even with my fears.

“Fear is the opposite of faith. Faith says, ‘Everything looks terrible and by all logical accounts I should prepare for the worst- but because the Lord is my God, He is going to do the impossible and make a way for me.’ Faith forces the obstacles to move. Faith always believes in the best to come, not because it is irrational, but because it knows God intimately. Fear, on the other hand, is pathetically whiny and weak! It says, ‘Everything looks terrible, I should prepare for the worst- and there is absolutely nothing I or anyone can do to get me out of this! Life is terrible, its time to panic.’ Having fear is the same thing as denying God.”

Maybe that is a bit harsh for you. But realistically speaking, we should fear everything. But because we, believers in Christ, have a hope that rose from the dead, we have a hope that overcomes all things. Wherever your fear comes from, whatever it may be, do not let it control you. Do not let it move you. Let the love of Jesus Christ move you. Let his love be with you in all things. Trust him completely and believe that he can do something in your life. It does not mean you will not have struggles or even be free from pain in your life, but it does mean that, regardless, his love can carry you through. If he can die on the cross and rise again, conquering the grave, what else can I do but trust my Jesus?

Today was beautiful. Finally it is beginning to feel like Spring. No more snow. No more freezing temperatures. Yesterday, Easter Sunday, was 80 degrees, a record for our current weather temps. And I awoke today to the same glory! Okay maybe it is stupid to be so excited but I am! I cannot help it. Today felt like Spring. Today was beautiful. I laid outside by my still closed pool under the surprisingly hot April sun. I even got a slight sunburnt. My reason for being so excited is not that I got to lay out and get tan, but that I got to experience the beginning of Spring. I got to be in the midst of something beautiful happening. Spring is symbolic of our lives, our spirits, our everything. It is a time for change, for new things to occur.

Rebirth.

I find it no coincidence that Easter Sunday, the day that we celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus, was beautiful and warm, the first day this Spring to feel that good. Jesus rose again and it was beautiful and new and glorious. This may sound ridiculous but that is exactly how it felt being outside yesterday and today. Jesus gives us life and we can experience the beauty of it daily! Don’t waste it.

Resurrection Sunday. The average American will attend Church for Easter for one main reason- to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. What I find funny about this, is that the average American also never attends church except for this Sunday in hopes of redemption for their sin. One day a year is enough to redeem a year of countless…? I find it so sad that this is often the attitude of many. Our sin, to put plainly, is that which we do in contradiction to God and his desire for us. It is when we do not live according to his will. Jesus saw that there was a gap and that we would never measure up to God. Jesus died, as I wrote earlier in the weekend. He died for me. For you. For us. Because we were never able to be perfect and without fault… without sin. Something is dead inside of us. Jesus died to take away the sin of our lives, to make us pure again. He died so that we didn’t have to pay the debt. The difference is that he didn’t remain dead. He rose. He became alive. He did what no mere man could do. Resurrect…

Many people already know this to be what is Easter Sunday is about. Many people believe it to be false. Maybe you don’t even care. But let me tell you this. My life would not be what it is today without Jesus. Without his enduring love. Without his death. And especially without his resurrection. If not the Messiah, he still lived a life better than anyone known and more loving than anyone.  I would still want to be like him. He is a man that loved in spite of, died in place of and rose again because of… me. He loved me. He knew the only way I could ever really experience life abundantly, with no regret, was that he would die for my debt that I deserve, but rose again so that I would actually live. That is love. His love resurrected in me that which was dead. My pain, my hurt, my past, my mistakes, my failures. Everything. Saved…by a LOVE that conquers, that revives, that redeems… that is the very reason I choose to believe that Easter is not a day of bunnies and candy. But a day of love resurrected.

[This post is from 2 years ago while I was in Jerusalem during the Holy Week]

Suffering. The Via Dolorosa. Pain. Anguish. It begins at the old Fort Antonio. Today it stands as representation to the procession of the cross. Condemned. A death to which was undeserved. Crucify. The very crowds that cheered for his presence. A glorious entry. Praised. Honored.

Betrayed. Turned to the law and broken. Jesus stood in Fort Antonio to hear a verdict of his life. His destiny was death. Nothing less. Today standing there helped me to picture that moment of defeat. Today thousands of pilgrims from around the world stood in the courtyard of Fort Antonio-now an Arabic school- singing songs to Christ. The masses stood in place of those from two thousand years ago. I could only imagine the horror from then. Screaming. Cheering. Condemning. We followed the procession for a little while, however, the crowds almost became too much to manage.

Once we finally made it out of the procession we found our way back to our guesthouse. Soon thereafter a friend and I went back to the Garden Tomb. Today was a day for reflection, meditation, and prayer. I needed it all. Overcome by peace, I was able to rest in the His arms. I cried some tears of joy. No weeping. Just peace. Beautiful peace.

Good Friday- this Friday- two thousand years ago. At the ninth hour- 3pm- Christ died. His last breath. Gone. Darkness came. It rested in the sky. Hovering. Waiting. In the Garden today, that darkness has gone. It turned cloudy at one point, showing me a darkness. But today I focused on joy. I rejoiced in the Glory of Christ risen. The flowers dance to the wind. The birds sing. The stones, present 2000 years ago, remain. If this Garden was the tomb of Christ, those stones are witnesses to that Glory.

[This post is from 2 years ago while I was in Jerusalem during Holy Week]

After the Garden Tomb last night, our group had a foot washing. Now granted this was not my first time experiencing a foot washing. In all actuality I think I have had too many foot washing services, however most of which lacking focus on Christ and his purpose. Each time, for the most part, was portrayed with focus of the person giving the washing- not Christ. I almost wish last night would have been the first time I have ever experienced a foot washing. It was moving. It was beautiful.

I wept.

We sang acoustic worship while the water basin was passed from person to person [on the right]. Something key about the idea of a foot washing service, is that if the focus is not on Christ at all times, then it is completely in vain. Christ washed his disciples’ feet. This we know. But something I had never thought of before last night was the fact that Jesus first saw his disciples and their dirty feet. He then saw an empty basin. Opportunity. He saw it. He took it. Acting as a slave- a servant- he took off his outer clothing. He knelt at the feet of each disciple. Knowing that Judas was already filled with the a spirit of Satan, he STILL washed his feet. He still gave him honor though it wasn’t due. The disciples, especially Peter, were not willing to let Christ wash their feet. It was only after Christ said that they could have no part of him without it, that they allowed for him to wash them.

During the foot washing I prayed…prayed for so many things. I feel free from my past. But I also worry for things to come. Uncertainty. So much of what I felt I cannot explain. Simply, I don’t know entirely why but I was weeping. I was overcome by something. As soon as the foot washing ended I ran upstairs, grabbed my ipod and went to the rooftop balcony. Tears burst forth from my eyes. A weeping I have never known. I wanted more of God. I could feel his presence in a completely new way. Then I did something out of my comfort zone. I danced. I got up, smiling, and began to dance on the roof. I know it sounds ridiculous. I don’t care. I felt a need to dance. So I did. Like David, I danced in Jerusalem, undignified before my God. I loved it. Alive! I danced! Resurrected!

[This post is from 2 years ago while I had been in Jerusalem during Holy Week]

I just experienced the greatest moment of peace in my life. We went to the Garden Tomb in Jerusalem. It is a site that many believe is the actual tomb and resurrection place of Christ. It very well could be, however the staff of the Garden Tomb will not tell you that it is for certain the tomb of Christ. Many factors suggest that it could be the tomb: it is right outside the city [old city] by the Damascus gate and near a main road. The tomb found is near a cliff that is said to be Golgotha, the place of Christ’s death. The tomb itself is found in an old vineyard, which would follow with the idea of Joseph of Arimethia burying Jesus.

Whether that tomb is the actual tomb of Christ, it stands as a symbol of Christ’s resurrection regardless. The area enclosed allows for meditation and prayer undisturbed from the rest of Jerusalem. I sat and thought of so much. I first thought of the things I have done; the reasons for Christ dying. Then I smiled. I still am smiling. I remember Christ’s death and I recognize him as being my savior, but without his resurrection, nothing would matter. This empty tomb was beautiful. It reminded me that my Lord, though crucified, rose again, declaring the Glory of God! It shows me so much about myself. As I wrote previously, I have been emptied. Now I am alive again. I would simply be nothing without this beautiful story of love…of resurrection. The tomb now empty because my Lord has risen. I smile. I laugh. I breathe. I can live. Risen.

I am a not who I once was. For that, I am so thankful. All that I was remains in my past, and I that I can be remains ahead. I can become whoever I want to be. I can become a woman captivated by the Love that changed me. I can become a warrior princess fighting for the injustice this world. I can be whatever  I want. I determine my destiny daily. I determine to remain prisoner to my past or to be set free by Christ.

I choose life.

I choose to be new.

I choose to move forward, toward Christ.

“Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward-to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.” 
[Philippians 3:13-14]

Often we think when it comes to victory in battle, the winning army has the greatest numbers. Often that is true. There have been, however, battles that have been won, not by numbers, but by the might behind the army. Gideon is one of those examples from the Bible that most people do not even know about.

In Judges 6:11-8:35, the account of Gideon can be found. The Israelites had been in a rough situation, under the control of the Midianites (and other people groups). One day Gideon was approached by the Angel of the Lord and asked to do something about the Israelites’ current situation. Wondering how God could use him, the youngest from the weakest clan , Gideon questioned his calling. [How often do you question what God can do in your life?] Gideon, however, decided to trust God and made a sacrifice to him, which was consumed entirely. During the middle of the night, Gideon, knowing the idolatry and pagan attitude of his people and the Midianites, he tore down the Asherah pole and the altar of Baal [one of the false gods]. The next morning, as the town awoke, they quickly realized that their beloved altar of their god [which had never actually done anything for them] had been torn down! Though they were angry, they believed that Baal would contend for himself if he were indeed a god… he did not. Gideon became a man that desired nothing less than to be obedient to God’s call on his life, in spite of any limits anyone placed upon him, including himself.

Then the battle came…about 30,000 men joined forces with Gideon to try to defeat the Midianites and other oppressors. However, God told Gideon to lessen the numbers to prove that God would be the one to bring victory, not the Israelites; it kept them from being falsely proud. 22,000 men left the battle field because of fear, leaving only 10,000 men yet even then God said there were too many men for battle.  Gideon then tested the remaining men in the most unlikely way. They went to a spring to get water. Those that lapped the water like a dog were chosen to stay. Why? Simply because that is what God asked them to do. So those 300 men were divided into 3 companies, each given trumpets and glass jars with torches inside. They went out at night and encircled the Midianites’ camp. With a single motion, it would seem, the men all smashed the jars, blew their trumpets and had their torches ready. The entire Midianite army [and others] fled their camps! The princes of the enemies were captured and before Gideon and the Israelites. Several other victories happened with small numbers. During the days of Gideon, the Israelites lived in peace. They were obedient to God. Gideon died in rest and peace.

 

This story is one of victory because of obedience and confidence in God above all else. Numbers are not a priority or even a requirement. Trust in God and obedience is the key to this kind of victory.